Loss. It hangs over our heads like the sword of Damocles. We fear the loss of our life, our friends, loved ones, control, possessions, health, wealth, sanity, love. Come right down to it, we fear loss of any kind. What can we do about it?

Fear of loss is actually a two fold fear. We fear change and we fear our inability to deal with that change. In other words, we don’t think we can handle it. When faced with a thought, a doubt about our own strength during a loss, we search ourselves for the strength to deal with it and it’s not there! Our suspicions are confirmed. We firmly believe at that point that we don’t have the strength to deal with loss and we panic. It’s a lie.

Oh, it’s not a “I didn’t eat the last cookie” type of lie. It is a lie of misunderstanding. If we thought in the summer about how we would handle a winter chill and we looked down and saw ourselves in shorts and flip flops and we freaked because dressed like this we would freeze to death, it would be absurd because when the cold weather comes, we will change. We will do whatever is appropriate to the situation.

When loss of any kind happens to us, we too will change. We will be given the strength to deal with it. We will be given the friends, old or new, to help. We will be given the insight about what to do and when to do it. One of the immutable laws of life is that whatever we truly need will always be given to us when we need it and not one second before. Faith in a Higher Power is not necessary but it does make this so much easier to accept.

When fear of loss pops up in our thoughts, rather than freaking out, it is much wiser and much more empowering to say. “Oh, you again. I’ll be ready for you when and if the time comes. Until then, shut up!” And then go ahead a think a better thought.

(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


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