May 21st, 2012
Part of the human experience is pleasure and happiness and part is loss and pain. We will always be somewhat jealous of those that seem to have a disproportionate amount of happiness and we will always cringe at those who seem to have a plethora of pain. Every day we fervently wish to be one of the happy ones and we humbly pray to be spared the fate of the other ones.
But before we pray for a life free from pain and loss we must understand their blessings. Yes, their blessings. Your pain is going to keep you present. It is going to make you prioritize what is worth your energy and time. It is going to make you reach inside and find a way to take the next step when it seems impossible. Your pain is going to summon more strength than you ever thought possible. Your losses are going to test you most of all. Your losses will suck the very will to live from you but you will find that although you may not want to live, life will live through you regardless. You will understand not only the fragility but the power of life. You will go on because life wants you to go on.
Pain and loss will force you to seek and find answers, not THE answers but more importantly YOUR answers. You will create a belief system from those answers and that will sustain you through all your further bouts of pain and loss. These answers are what you will pass on as your wisdom.
Yes, all these are benefits of pain and loss but maybe the greatest benefit of enduring pain and loss is you will know unequivocally who loves you.
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
May 7th, 2012
Loss. It hangs over our heads like the sword of Damocles. We fear the loss of our life, our friends, loved ones, control, possessions, health, wealth, sanity, love. Come right down to it, we fear loss of any kind. What can we do about it?
Fear of loss is actually a two fold fear. We fear change and we fear our inability to deal with that change. In other words, we don’t think we can handle it. When faced with a thought, a doubt about our own strength during a loss, we search ourselves for the strength to deal with it and it’s not there! Our suspicions are confirmed. We firmly believe at that point that we don’t have the strength to deal with loss and we panic. It’s a lie.
Oh, it’s not a “I didn’t eat the last cookie” type of lie. It is a lie of misunderstanding. If we thought in the summer about how we would handle a winter chill and we looked down and saw ourselves in shorts and flip flops and we freaked because dressed like this we would freeze to death, it would be absurd because when the cold weather comes, we will change. We will do whatever is appropriate to the situation.
When loss of any kind happens to us, we too will change. We will be given the strength to deal with it. We will be given the friends, old or new, to help. We will be given the insight about what to do and when to do it. One of the immutable laws of life is that whatever we truly need will always be given to us when we need it and not one second before. Faith in a Higher Power is not necessary but it does make this so much easier to accept.
When fear of loss pops up in our thoughts, rather than freaking out, it is much wiser and much more empowering to say. “Oh, you again. I’ll be ready for you when and if the time comes. Until then, shut up!” And then go ahead a think a better thought.
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com