August 12th, 2013

When you look into your past, do you ever think “I should have done that differently” or “I should have made a better choice”? And then get upset with yourself? Of course you do. We all do.

How about if you look into your past and you see yourself getting lost somewhere at ten years of age. And you say “I was so stupid. I should have just looked at my smartphone!” And you start getting really upset that you didn’t use this useful device but then you stop and say “Whoa! What am I doing? They didn’t have smartphones when I was ten!”.

Seem preposterous? Of course it does but we do it every day. We look into our past with the eyes, the knowledge, the wisdom, the experience and the lessons we have learned and accumulated since then and we harshly judge our past self who had none of that! There is little in life that is more unfair.

Remember, you have always done the best you could with the knowledge that you had and the conditions that you were under. Your past is merely a history book. It is just the facts of what happened. It is not evidence to be used to prosecute yourself or shame yourself or denigrate yourself. It is just your story, written and unchangeable. Look at it with compassion and kindness and remember it is not who you are now.

You are better, wiser and more aware than you have ever been. The past calls to you but so does the future. One is a story already written and the other is a story that you will write fresh or copy from what has already been written. Let’s start a new story today, one of strength and confidence and love. Ready?

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



May 6th, 2013

(You are Blessed!)

Anger makes little things large and makes the insignificant significant. It is a fire that devours everything and everybody in its wake. In its search for more fuel it will search every file in your memory for any person, place or thing that ever upset you at any time and make it feel current. How do you tame the beast?

First of all, getting upset at yourself for getting angry just adds fuel to the fire. Now you get to be mad at yourself along with everyone else. Don’t do that. Secondly, blame is to anger what a strong wind is to a forest fire. Stop blaming. Thirdly, stop thinking of your anger as a runaway train. You do have your hands on the controls at all times. Anger is just convincing you not to use them. Use them.

What I am about to tell you can change your life. When you feel anger rear its ugly but powerful head, clap your hands. Just like a hypnotist bringing someone back from a deep trance, clap your hands once and say to yourself; “My life is not fueled by anger. My life is fueled by love!”. This hits the emergency brake on your anger. BUT in the next critical moment you must understand that getting rid of your anger is going to leave a vacuum and if you don’t fill that vacuum with something, anger will be sucked back in.

The next critical step is to fill that now empty space with gratitude. Immediately start thinking about your blessings to the exclusion of everything else. It will be a struggle for a bit but a struggle that you can definitely win each and every time. Don’t let anger steal your peace of mind, your judgement or your relationships. Give it the clap.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


What’s Wrong?

April 15th, 2013

(You have a voice!)

“What’s wrong?” The answer to this question will change your life. Maybe.

When you are asked; “What’s wrong?” your typical first response is: “Nothing.” Why do you have this quick, patented answer? Is it because you believe that your “stuff” isn’t important. Is it because you believe that you already know the response and where it will lead? Or maybe because you don’t want to rock the boat? Or do you believe that the other person can beat you or belittle you with the volume of their voice or their command of semantics or debate?

Whatever the reason for saying “Nothing” it is a lie if you truly feel something is wrong and lying always diminishes your self worth. It takes guts to tell the truth. It takes guts to not sugar coat your response. It takes guts not to preface your answer with cowering phrases like “You probably won’t agree but…” or “I might be totally wrong but…” or ” I might just be crazy but I…” or “You’ll probably get mad if I say this but…” and all the variations.

Speak up anyway! If you feel something is wrong, speak up! If you feel you have been abused, speak up! If you feel someone has treated you badly, speak up! If you feel that you are being cheated, lessened, cheated on, demeaned, ridiculed, belittled or hurt, speak up!

It is very important to remember that as you speak up you get the courage to continue. Great courage never comes before you speak. When you speak up you are righting a wrong. When you speak up you are honoring your own personal integrity. When you speak up the feces may come in direct contact with the oscillating blades but you will have stood toe to toe with your biggest fears and said “Get out of my way. I’ve got something to say!”and a bigger, better you is born.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



February 18th, 2013

(THIS Day!)

Most mornings I’ll wake up and think about the things I have to do and I’ll move a bit to see if the regular pains are there and if there are any new ones to worry about. I’ll think about the bills that need paying and I’ll wonder where the money to pay them is coming from. But not THIS morning. THIS morning I will awaken and take a deep breath and even if I cough or hurt, that will be a signal that I am alive. THIS morning I will start thinking better thoughts. THIS morning I will trust that Heaven is there to help me if I believe. THIS morning will be different.

Most afternoons, I’ll eat my lunch because it’s lunch time. I’ll complain a bit about the morning and all the work I didn’t get done. I’ll dread having to shop on the way home and I’ll think of something easy to fix for dinner. I’ll be so tired going back to work after lunch, I don’t know how I will get anything done. But not THIS afternoon. THIS afternoon I am going to eat my lunch like it was the first meal I have eaten in a year. THIS afternoon I will savor every bite. I will mentally thank everyone who made this food in front of me possible. THIS afternoon I will plan the best dinner with whatever resources I have. I will shop and be amazed by all that is available. THIS afternoon when I am finished my lunch I will be more productive than I have ever been. THIS afternoon my complaints will fall as my gratitude rises and rise it will!

Most evenings I will come home and grumble about how I live. I’ll turn on the television and the computer and I’ll look for something even easier for dinner. I’ll dramatize my tiredness so no one will bother me and I’ll have a good reason to lash out if they do. I’ll eat dinner while I watch TV or sit at the computer. I’ll forget how it tasted and I’ll find some desert so that dinner will have some small pleasure. I’ll make the calls I have to because it is expected of me and I’ll go to bed knowing that I’m not going to sleep very well. But not THIS evening. THIS evening I’ll be thinking of my blessings beforehand so that when I step through the door after shopping or working, I’ll feel richer than King Solomon. THIS evening I’ll realize, maybe for the first time, what an incredible life I have and that anything is possible. THIS evening I’ll be thankful for everything from my shower to my bed to my lights to my food. I’ll cook the best meal I can with what I have. I’ll listen to music and wait to use the TV and computer until later. THIS evening I’ll eat consciously like I ate my lunch. THIS evening I will call who I want. THIS evening I will plan a better tomorrow. THIS evening I will give thanks. THIS evening I will lay my head down and rest. Should gentle sleep come, I will enjoy it. If it does not come easily I will rest THIS evening and I will know that I truly lived THIS day.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


Your World

December 17th, 2012

(You are a Leader!)

What’s going on in the world? You probably know about the tension between Israel and Iran and you probably know about what’s going on in Afghanistan and sadly, you know what happened in Newton, Connecticut but what’s going on in your world? Yes, there are two worlds. There is a planet with seven billion people and oceans and mountains and cities almost too numerous to count and you live there. There is also another world and that is your personal world.

Your personal world is made up of all the people you come into contact with at anytime. Some stick around for a lifetime and some for only a moment or two. You influence them and they influence you in small or large ways. How’s your personal world looking? Are there tensions and wars? Is there a disparity of incomes? Are there great differences of opinion? Are there some age old grudges? Are there cries for help that go unanswered?

Your world and the big world have a lot in common. In fact, in some respects they are identical. We sit in our kitchens or desk chairs and voice or type our opinion on exactly how to fix the big world but we resign ourselves that some people in our personal world are toxic or liars or uncaring and so we focus on the illusion of fixing the big world.

The big world was never your job. All you have ever had to do is to take care of your personal world. All you have to do is make your own world more loving. All you have to do is to be a good example and foster great love and compassion for a very limited number of people. Turn off the news and pick up the phone. Forget about letters to the editor and send a letter to someone close that’s hurting. Forget about getting nations together at the peace table and instead get everyone you love to the dinner table. Forget about disarming the world and instead work on disarming your tongue. Forget about what the planet needs and find out what your neighbors and friends need.

You’ve been given the stewardship of a world, your personal world. Look at the people around you. How are you doing?

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


This Planet

December 3rd, 2012

(You are Resilient!)

Do you want a perfect world? Do you want a world free of suffering and strife? Do you want a world where everyone in every country holds hands and sings a really cool song? Sorry, wrong planet.

Let’s get real for a moment. Our world is filled with every imaginable and unimaginable person, place and thing. It is the greatest amusement park, museum, movie, sitcom, documentary, boxing ring and concert. It has cancer and it has warm, fresh bedsheets. It has great love and great loss. It has a plethora of both laughter and tears. It has it all, the good, the bad and certainly the ugly. So where, if anywhere, is perfection?

Perfection lies not in this world but in your judgement of this world of ours. EVERYTHING on this planet has its place and its reason for existence. Is it perfect? Yes it is, in a way. It’s perfect if you love kaleidoscopes, and changing seasons and sunrises and sunsets. It’s perfect if you can love change. You don’t have to love polliwogs and warthogs. You just have to love change.

There is a part of the day that you love but you would soon tire of it if there was no other time of the day. It changes and that’s perfect. There are puppies that are not house trained. It changes and that’s perfect. There are things you don’t understand and then you get older and you understand. It changes and that’s perfect. You criticize yourself and the world and then comes the day when you accept both just the way they are. It changes and that’s perfect.

Like the weather, if you don’t like the way the world is, stick around and it will change whether you want it to or not. Life is not about stagnation. Endless bliss or perfection would be stagnation. Life is about being alive and surprised and challenged. Life is about experiencing and growing. Life is a series of wonderful, horrible, marvelous changes. Embrace that and life is an amazing adventure.

When you were born, a voice whispered in your ear. “Welcome to this planet. Your changes will arrive shortly. Enjoy your stay.” Perfect!

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


That Feeling

October 29th, 2012

(You are Getting Better!)

How do you get that feeling back again? You know the one where you feel like you’re listening to your favorite song on a perfect day after eating your favorite food. You know the one. How do you recreate that?

The answer is…you can’t. Just like you can never step into exactly the same river twice, you can’t duplicate any moment you have ever lived. When we try to recreate a perfect day, it always turns out different than we planned. Life is lived forward for a reason. If yesterdays could be lived again, we would never live a today or plan a tomorrow on the fear that it wouldn’t be as good as what we had.

Life isn’t about recreating. It is about creating and improving. Life is constantly unfolding beautifully in front of us but we spend so much time looking back with a sketch book in our hands trying to make a blueprint of our past happy moments that we miss the new ones. The secret is to remember the past good feelings but fall in love with the present moment.

Without exception, the happiest people are the ones that love the most. And the ones who love the most are the ones who have made the greatest amount of room for love in their lives. Like a playroom that no longer has any room to play in, we have to clear stuff out. We have to get rid of judgement both of our self and others. We have to put all complaining out with the trash. We have to bury old regrets and hurts. A fresh coat of forgiveness with a bright trim of positive expectations and we are ready to open the doors and windows of acceptance and invite in gratitude.

There are legions of brand new, better than ever, good feeling days ahead for you. They are coming. Have you made room for them?

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



October 9th, 2012

Why are Mondays so different? Nature knows nothing of Mondays nor of any other day of the week. Nature knows seasons. People know days because people invented days. A bird, a blade of grass, a lion or a butterfly acts no differently on a Monday than on a Thursday. But we do. Why?

We have given magic to Mondays. It is a Monday when new jobs start. It is always a Monday when a diet starts or some bad habit stops. It is always a Monday when we decide to change for the better. Could we drop a bad habit on Thursday or start a diet on Friday? Are you crazy, we say. No one could be successful if they did that! Only a Monday start can guarantee success we say.

If Monday is so magical, why do we sigh at the very thought of its appearance? It is because we have forgotten the magic of Mondays. We have come to believe that a Monday signifies the start of another week just like any other week. There will be working hours and laundry to be done and bills to worry about and meals to make and appointments to keep. Where is the magic in all of that?

The magic of Monday is in your imagination and in your imagination are the seeds of everything that you will become. What if you imagined that Monday really was a start to not only the rest of the week but the rest of your life? What if you decided that every Monday would be a time not of sighs but of re-commitment to your success, your relationships, your health, your family, your spirituality and your dreams and plans? Wow! That would be one magical day every week, wouldn’t it? Now that could change a life. Yours maybe?

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



September 24th, 2012

(You are Wonderful!)

How do you make the right decision? You have gone back and forth, first thinking one way and then the other a hundred times. You’ve lit candles, flipped coins and tossed crumpled up paper into the wastepaper basket from a fair distance figuring if it goes in you’ve made the right choice. You really want to choose BUT what if you choose wrong? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

First of all, let’s get this straight. There is no award for making it all the way through life always guessing right. In fact I think there’s a penalty for that. Secondly, what looks at first glance to be the wrong choice can turn out to be the best choice you ever made. Thirdly, no matter how hard you pray, God will not make the choice for you but will absolutely, positively help you with whatever choice you do make. Fourthly, the only thing that is stopping you from making a choice is fear. Not fear of a bad outcome but fear of blame. Fifthly, sixthly and beyond; right, wrong or indifferent, you grow from each decision that you make. There is nothing else that grows you faster.

So, when a decision is looming, do the right thing, make a decision. Any decision is better than none. Not making a decision is an affirmation that you are weak. The longer you delay, the more you reinforce this weakness. Put it off long enough and you will paralyze yourself into not making any decision about anything.

So, how do you make the right decision? You set a deadline and you make a vow to yourself to make a decision before that time. When that time approaches, you go for it. That act signals to yourself and to the Universe that you are not someone to be trifled with. You are a person who makes decisions. And what happens if it’s the wrong decision? You take full responsibility and you grow some more.

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



September 17th, 2012

(You are Excellent!)

Are you living in the right place? Does where you live make you happy? I’m not talking about zip codes or states or provinces. I am talking about where do your thoughts live when you are not concentrating on something important. Are you living in the past? The future? What is it like there?

Is it a past filled with wonderful memories and remembrances of love and joy and carefree days? Is it a future filled with promise and health? Or maybe it’s a past filled with regrets and self recriminations. Or maybe it’s a future filled with scarcity and darkness.

Only a few of us can afford to physically live in the richest part of town but EVERY ONE OF US has the free will to live in a better mental place. Your thought are yours for the making and no one can limit them or destroy them or take them away from you. And since our every thought determines our happiness, we can literally move into joy no matter where we are or under what conditions we find ourselves.

How would today feel if you focused exclusively on whatever joys there were in your past? How good would you feel today if you painted a mental picture of the perfect future for you and kept adding details? How would you feel today if you mentally moved to a place of optimism and joy and lived there for the whole day?

The same way we take a break and go on vacation, take a break from worry and move to a mental place of upliftment and enjoy today. What you were worrying about today will still be there for you to worry about tomorrow if you decide to go back to it. Maybe, just maybe, you might decide to stay in that happy place and who knows, maybe, just maybe, things will start to change. Let’s face it, your worrying hasn’t exactly created miracles. How about living somewhere else today?

(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride