You can do it!

March 25th, 2013

(You can do it!)

Everyone, all seven billion of us, has a life. Some may seem better than others but every one of them includes pain. The only question each one of us has to answer is “Am I my pain or am I my healing?”. That answer will determine, more than anything else, your future.

Pain can break you. There is no doubt about that. Do you have to stay broken? No you do not. An animal will respond to to whatever broke him or her with cowering even years later given the same stimulus. You do not have to. You are stronger than that. You can move on. You can grow. You can prosper. You can heal. All that it takes is your constant intent and your constant belief. The scars will always be there and they will be sensitive forever and you will have to adjust to them but you will not be cowered by them.

It takes a while for a wound to become a scar but it always will because life wants you to go on. Life wants you to get stronger, to succeed. A scar says, you made it. A scar says that you healed. A scar says that you refused to have an open wound. A scar says you have closed the wound. A scar says you weren’t irretrievably broken.

No one makes it through this life without scars. The difference between those who thrive and those who suffer long after the wound has closed is that some talk about what caused the scar and some talk about the healing.

So look at your soul and your heart and your body and when you see a scar there don’t say that’s where I was hurt. Say that’s where I healed. It makes all the difference.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


Who do you love?

March 18th, 2013

(Who do you love?)

It’s easy to call to mind the people we love and the people we have loved. Most of us are blessed with at least a short list. If you were questioned, there would be absolutely no problem in stating for the record that your list, short or long, contains people you definitely love. But whose name is missing from that list? Over the years I have asked more than two thousand people to make a list of the people they love. Not one of them in all the years has added their own name.

When I point out this missing person, most people respond with some variation of “Oh, of course I love myself. I didn’t think I had to write that down.” The rest of the people just sit with a “Wow, what does that mean to me?” look on their face.

We all know how vitally important it is to tell those we love that we love them. We know that just assuming they know is a recipe for alienation. So, do you want to feel alienated from you? The big question is: can you feel comfortable looking in the mirror and saying “I love you”? It feels weird and funny and more than a little creepy like trying to say it to another third grader. But, pursue this and pretty soon it gets easier. The words flow more easily. Now and then there’s a smile and finally there’s a smile and a wink. No, it doesn’t mean you’re going crazy. It means that you are okay loving you and all of a sudden it becomes okay for other people to love what you see in the mirror.

If you had a dear, dear friend who you really, really loved would it matter how they looked? Of course not. You would love them anyway and probably tell them often. You may want them to make some changes but it doesn’t affect your love for them whether they do or not. Can you be that loving to you?

Next time you pass a mirror, send a little love your way.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



March 11th, 2013

(You are Blessed!)

Our joy in each day depends mainly on the amount AND the kind of energy we bring to it. Notice that I didn’t mention the weather, other people, health, finances, work, the news, your relatives, your age, your past or where you live. That is because although they matter, they matter far less than you believe they do.

Before you get out of bed each morning, all the “to do’s” run through your mind. All of the “I didn’t’s” do too. A brand new day waits in front of you and the day waits patiently for you to color it. If you don’t consciously choose a color, by default, the day will just use what color has been used recently. There’s usually plenty left over from your yesterday.

How about, just as an experiment, tomorrow morning when you wake, you open a brand new can of paint, a brand new color, maybe even your favorite? How about you make this color vibrant and filled with positive thoughts, energy and memories? How about you get so filled with joy, that you begin splashing this color all over your work?

Every thing and every one in your day will consciously or unconsciously start to come into harmony with the energy/color that you choose and hold onto because everyone seeks harmony with the dominant and prevailing energy. And YOU, yes, YOU can be the dominant and prevailing energy if you will choose it early and often in your day.

Each day is your new canvass. Don’t waste time trying in vain to repaint some yesterday. If you do, someone else will paint your today and it might not bring you the joy you could have had.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


Giving on Empty?

March 4th, 2013

(Giving on Empty?)

If you reached into your pocket and found you had no money, how much could you give? If you wanted to feed a friend but you had no food in the house, how much could you give? The answers seem so easy and self evident but let me ask you one more. If you really wanted to give happiness to those you love, how much could you give? Are you full of happiness?

How do you give someone else happiness? It’s not like handing them a handful of pistachios or a cookie. Sometimes we think that giving a gift is giving happiness but believe it or not (sorry Tiffany&Co!) it’s more about the person who is giving and the reason for the giving than the gift itself.

You see, we can give happiness but we have to have it to give it. When you buy a gift for someone you love, you get very happy at the thought of giving it and the pleasure and joy you’ll see. And that happiness that you feel gets delivered with the gift.

When we are stressed and feeling low, we give up on our own happiness and instead we try to do something nice or give a gift to make someone else happy but most of the time it fizzles or backfires because we are not happy. We can’t give on empty! We can’t give what we don’t have.

When we fill ourselves with gratitude for our many blessings, when we smile at the beauty around us, when we remember those who love us, when we remember others who were happy, we fill ourselves with happiness. When we are filled with happiness, everything we say is uplifting, every gift no matter how small is received with joy, every smile we give is returned.

If we want to give happiness to the ones we love, to this world of ours, it is our duty to be happy. It is our calling to be a light and not a shroud. It is our charge to rise above the petty. Those we love want us to be happy just like we want them to be happy. Where’s that smile?

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride