August 29th, 2016

 When it’s time to make a change you’ll know it but the knowing isn’t the first step. It isn’t any step at all. It is a realization. Knowing that you have to make a change is just looking down and realizing that you on not on the path you thought you were on.

 You can sit with that realization your whole life. You can go to your grave never have taken any action on that realization and it’s totally understandable. Because taking any action whatsoever on that realization will move you off of that comfortable place you call the present.

 Your present might be filled with problems but they are known problems. Your present might be filled with pain and loss but they are familiar. Your present might seem empty but it’ll do for another day.

 When you decide to take action and change your whole life (you will never just change one thing. Everything is connected) the unknown will be your foe, your fire breathing dragon. It is ready to awaken and turn your new courage to ashes for the audacity of wanting to change.

 Before it incinerates your courage it will berate you. “Don’t you know how lucky you are? You should be grateful for what you have!” And when you are brought to your knees by doubt, indecision and procrastination the fire will commence to destroy what could have been. And the calendar will start flipping its pages faster than ever.

 If you slay the dragon you are not done. The “What If?” fog will quickly roll in and disorient you. Should you do this or that? Should you go this way or that way? What if you go in the wrong direction? What if you disappoint others? What if you lose everything? What if the next step is off a cliff? Maybe you should just wait until the fog disappears. It. never. does.

 So, you say you still want to change? I applaud your decision. You may not make it but at least you got into the arena. If you got as far as the arena, you best chance of making a change is to follow these rules: 
1) Get physically stronger than you are. Eat, sleep and exercise. Change your body and your courage grows. 

2) Meditate. Doubt can find no room in a peaceful mind.

3) Write it down. Writing down the change you want to make begins the transformation. This step is crucial.
4)Begin each day with a knowing smile.
​​​​​​​5)Reduce your little pleasures. They are killing your appetite for larger ones.
6)Step away from toxic people, places and thoughts.

7) Love everything but most importantly yourself. 

This may be the time to go for it or it may be the time to seriously plan. Either way, I’ll always have a supportive word or two for you. 

Sundrops On Life -Better Thoughts. Better Days.

(c)2016 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride 

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August 24th, 2015

 WHAT is around you has a profound affect on how you feel and how you act. Even more important is the WHO around you. In other words, the people around you either feed you or starve you.
 It doesn’t matter if the people are family or long time friends or they saved your life. If they are constant complainers and whiners. If they are always taking advantage of you. If they treat you poorly. If they take, take, take and never give. If they put you down. If they suck all of your energy. If they don’t value you. If they belittle you in any way. They are toxic to you and they have no place in your life.
 The very first step in learning to love yourself is getting rid of those people who make you feel bad. You have a life which is a precious, beautiful blessing. To live that life to the fullest you must have the courage to change what can be changed. There are billions of people out there. All you meet will affect you in some way. Whether you allow them into your life or not is your choice not theirs.

 Honor yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Embrace those who love you. Dismiss those who won’t. And stop making excuses for the ones who won’t. You deserve better. 

(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride 

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July 13th, 2015

What follows you around like a giant mosquito, always buzzing so you know it’s around and when you think it’s gone the familiar sting tells you it’s not? It’s guilt.

Some people feel guilty about everything regardless of whether or not they are at fault. “I’m sorry the ocean is so salty and it ruined our vacation” “I’m sorry that I didn’t know what you were thinking” .

Some people hide their guilt and walk around with a perpetual hundred pound weight on their chest. It doesn’t matter whether or not they were actually at fault. The only thing that matters in both cases is the perception that somehow it was their fault.

Guilt is a powerful feeling that can help us to change for the better or paralyze us into inaction. How can we see it in a positive light when we believe, right or not, that we did something wrong? Forgetting is an impossibility.

We hear about forgiving yourself but in order to forgive you have to take a higher position and pass an order of forgiveness to yourself. How can you take a higher position, in other words act as a judge, when guilt has laid you so low?

Guilt will weaken you and it can only be tamed one way. You have to become stronger than the guilt. If the guilt is pervasive “I’m sorry for everything!” you must rein it in and see it in the light. Is it really, really, really your fault? If so, take responsibility and apologize ONCE. If it is not your fault, stand your ground FOREVER.

We all make mistakes or we haven’t really lived. We cannot change one iota of the past. If you have done wrong, rectifying it is sometimes possible. Learning from it is always possible. Learn and move on. Get strong, not arrogant. Be the door that only allows love to enter and not the doormat. Be strong, wonderful you.

(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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April 20th, 2015

Upsetting memories of things that were done to you or bad things you did to someone else or a combination of both stay stuffed inside a dark compartment in your mind like the hall closet that holds so much junk that to open it runs the risk of everything pouring out. Out of sight, out of mind? Not exactly.

Everyone without exception has that closet. Some are filled with moderate upsets and some are filled with things so heinous that it seems impossible to even consider the contents.

​ The sad fact is that the dark, tucked away closet influences much of your life. It’s not as tucked away as you believe. So, what can you do about it? Quite a bit!

It is very important to realize that your stuffed closet is filled with things connected to the old you. That’s simply not you anymore. Is it a part of you? Absolutely! BUT it is not a controlling part of you unless you still fear it. The contents are unchangeable but the fear is changeable.

You must understand that you are strong now where you were once weak. You see more clearly. You are more conscious and aware. You have tools and insight now that were just not available to you then. Who you were has been reborn in tear soaked pillows and screams to the heavens. You have a past that belongs in the past. Take the lesson, leave the fact.

Fearlessly open that closet door and see the passage of time slowly deteriorating everything in there. Turn around and walk powerfully toward your future. You are today and tomorrow. You are no longer yesterday and you do not fear that which is deteriorating. You are born again every moment and you are reborn even better than you were in every passing moment. Your improvement never, ever stops. Count on it.

(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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March 30th, 2015

If you ever had children or have ever been around children, you probably know the excruciating pain of stepping on a Lego building block with your bare feet. The pain is so immediate and so intense that I believe the Geneva Convention has outlawed it as a form of interrogation.

If you are anything like me, your pain probably morphed into anger rather quickly. Thoughts of destroying every Lego ever made, putting the offending child in the town’s pillory and nuking the playroom came easily to mind.

You call out loud for the child to appear so that they may be witness to the terrible pain that has taken over your entire foot and when they show up…

They are so sorry and so upset about your distress and they ask how they can help and they rush over to see the hurt. All of a sudden you realize that they hurt too. Your pain is their pain and now you forget your pain and tell them that it’s okay and they need to pick up their toys.

​ What happened? Did your pain suddenly disappear? No, truth is that it still hurts like the dickens but your pain took a back seat to their pain. Why? Because you love. That’s right, every pain in this world is lessened by love. There are no regrets where love was the guiding force. Love trumps every other emotion. Love is the power that helps a tiny Mom lift a heavy car off a loved one. Love is the force that powers people through the most trying times. Love is your birthright. Love is ALWAYS available as a choice.

Alway remember to love regardless of circumstances. Always remember to love yourself. Always remember to shuffle your feet when you walk through the playroom.

(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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February 16th, 2015

Suddenly you feel good. It’s been a while but right now it feels great. “Wow! I wish I could feel like this all the time. What did I eat for breakfast? Maybe I should do that every morning.

Maybe it’s because I went for a walk yesterday. That’s it, from now on I’m going to walk every morning. Maybe it’s because I had that great conversation or maybe because I finally went out the other night. I have to get out more often. Coffee, maybe it’s the new coffee. Maybe I should switch to green tea. I feel like I could run a marathon and win!

I’m getting a little hungry. What should I have for lunch? I wish I had the time/money to go someplace great. I never get to do anything fun anymore. It’s his/her fault. I wish I could make better choices and I wish I didn’t worry so much. Yea, I think I’ll have something to eat. It doesn’t matter what I just need to eat so I can get back to work. Let see….”

Our mental chatter can takes us towards or away from happiness, sometimes in seconds. Like leaving on a television station that we aren’t really watching but it feels good to have some chatter going on, we just let the thoughts run.

Let today be the day that you decide what thoughts to think and which to ignore. Let today be the day that you decide what thoughts uplift you and you make your very own thought playlist.

You thoughts control your moods. Think of a happy place right now and you can feel the effect within seconds. Find your happiest thoughts and let those be your dominant thoughts and the ones that will always release you from mindless chatter. Think better. Feel better.

(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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December 29th, 2014

For far too long we have communicated with our unhappiness. We have learned that if we mope about, if we look downtrodden, if we look upset or agitated, someone will eventually ask us what is wrong.

We have learned not to announce what hurts us. We have learned not to respond to unkind words or gestures. We have learned to walk away rather than stand and correct someone.

​ Instead we look down, assume a poor posture and avoid eye contact. Monosyllabic answers can put the finishing touches on our portrayal of someone who is hurt. “Oh, please ask us why we look like this!”

Can we please unlearn this? Can we learn to speak of our hurt when it is felt rather than assuming something worthy of a theatrical performance? Can we drop the drama and speak up?

​ Can we learn to speak up for ourselves right away? Can we learn not to be dissuaded by the reply to our new found strength? “Oh, I was just joking” “Boy, you are sensitive” ” You’re making a big deal out of nothing” “You’ve got it all wrong” “You misunderstood what I meant”.

When our lack of courage to speak up becomes drama instead, that drama is a sign of weakness. That drama is the tell tale sign of one who cannot summon the strength to confront the issue, resolve the issue one way or another and put it behind them. That drama is the bit of debris left over from a crisis that the weak cling to, forgetting that they won’t drown if they let it go.

Let this be the year of getting stronger. Let this be the year that your feelings are not hidden behind sugar coated words or theatrics. Let this be the year that you speak your truth every time. Be kind but be honest. Now is a very good time to start being who you always wanted to be.

To a stronger, drama free you in 2015! Cheers!

(c)2014 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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Getting Sick

October 20th, 2014

You are going to get sick!
Yes, and you are going to get depressed and worried and upset. You are going to have your heart broken and you are going to cry and feel like you are at the end of your rope.

Some people think that if you meditate enough and exercise enough and eat enough of the right foods and read the right books you will somehow be immune from all of the above. That is self deception.

All of life is not a day at the beach. If it were you would only learn to handle a day at the beach and nothing more. Life is messy and hurtful at times for everyone, no exceptions. Meditating and exercising and eating and reading right does not make you immune from life’s travails but it makes the time between travails absolutely wonderful. Like a boxer resting between rounds, taking care of yourself between times of adversity is the best way to enjoy life.

When the inevitable troubles come, you want to be at your best, fully rested, brimming with health and clarity, top of your game. That way you are an asset to yourself and all those you wish to help. If you are sick, upset or down, do everything possible to bring yourself back to or as close to optimum as you can. Make you the priority. Make you the priority. (Written twice for emphasis!)

If all is well in most areas of your health and clarity, first, thank God for such a blessing and secondly, use all of your resources to take your health and clarity to the highest level possible. Remember, every phase of everyone’s life has peaks and valleys. That’s life. Celebrate the good times. Power through the not so good times.

(c)2014 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride

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Cow Dung

December 16th, 2013

Let’s say you have a jar and it is filled right up to the very tippy top with gold dust. Now suppose that someone wanted to put some cow dung in your jar. What would happen? Absolutely nothing because there would be no room. Now suppose that your jar was only a half or a quarter full and someone wanted to put some cow dung in there. Why, there would be plenty of room and while the gold dust would still be valuable, it would stink as much as the cow dung around it. What does this have to do with you?

When we consider ourselves to be complete, when we are filled with self love and gratitude, there is no room for anyone to put their dung in our lives. When we realize our own divinity and know that the kingdom is within us, there is no room for anything else. When we doubt, when we lose faith in ourselves, when we lose faith in faith, when we can no longer see the good, when we turn away from the positives in our own life, then we leave room for things that do not serve us to enter our lives and stink up our thoughts.

For whatever reason, there are toxic people out there. It is part of everyone’s DNA to share what they have. They will share their toxicity and you will share your love. If they are full of toxicity they will not have room for your love. If you are filled with love you will not have room for their toxins.

If you find yourself recalling hurtful words that were said to you or endlessly replaying the videos of hurtful things that were done to you, you are diminishing your love of your life and making room for their dung.

Anyone who has done any canning will tell you that you don’t leave room at the top of the jar or bacteria will grow and spoil everything inside. Stay full. Think so many positive thoughts of love and gratitude that you absolutely overflow. Stay filled with the joy and wonder of life. Walk your talk and live your truths and when someone tries to give you some dung, just honestly say “No thanks. I have no room for that”.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
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Chang who?

October 21st, 2013

“I’ve talked until I’m blue in the face and nothing changes.” It doesn’t matter if you have said this about a boss, an employee, a coworker, a friend, a parent, a spouse or a child. What does matter is that you are making yourself upset because you forgot the first rule of living on this planet. You can’t change someone else if they don’t want to change.

It doesn’t matter if you have the very best intentions or if you are doing it out of a deep love and caring for the other person. You can’t change someone else if they don’t want to change. You can guilt, bribe, ignore, threaten or shame but the result will be temporary at best.

“So what am I suppose to do? Just sit idly by and let them ruin their lives, their career, their relationship, their health, etc.?” Emphatically NO! You are not suppose to sit idly by. You are suppose to follow the second rule of living on this planet. You are suppose to work on you.

You are supposed to aspire and work toward excellence in every aspect of your own life. Your duty is to become loving, caring, compassionate and even-tempered. Your duty is to embrace all that is good and project the optimism that comes from living a spirit centered life. In other words, you are to become the best example of what you talk about.

If someone is inclined to change, your example will be their blueprint. Your words may be ignored or forgotten but the image of who you have become will never leave them. If, every day, you work on your happiness, honesty, love and being non-judgemental you will become worthy of being copied. That’s your reward. If someone in your life tries to change themselves because of your example, that’s a bonus.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
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