Got Drama?

January 28th, 2013

(Got Drama?)

Drama is the attention getter because drama gets rewarded. Tell someone that you are getting better in any area of your life and you get a nod and a quick smile but tell them things are getting worse and the addition of drama brings their concern and their attention. What’s your story? Is it about what you have overcome or is it about what crushed you? Is your life a drama and are you known for that? Do people expect that another thing has broken in your life? Drama is a story of poor little me. It doesn’t serve you. It depletes you. We all have good times and not so good times. What we dramatize grows.

Drama gets attention and makes us feel a certain kind of special. We have to ask ourselves what is the price we pay for drama? We know the reward. We know there will be attention, concern, our short comings will be disregarded, maybe even some help but what’s the price? Every bit of drama in our life is another hole in our boat, too many and we sink into a sea of negativity perhaps forever. The little rewards are not worth it! It’s like the little old ladies who sit playing the nickel slots and are always surprised to see their change cup empty. “But I was winning!” they say.

There’s no joy in drama. We say we want happiness but how can we be happy if our story is about who did us wrong and the things that have gone wrong for us. Happiness is about celebration not drama. Celebrate being alive and having a chance to be even better. Love and kindness and laughter have rewards too. They are not gossiped about and they certainly don’t get you much attention but choosing them is choosing the very best parts of life. Without drama you are just you. That really is enough. That really is the best. That really is perfect.

We all know how to lose weight. How about we all go on a drama reducing diet? Your clothes won’t fit any better but people will be looking more at your glow, your lightness and your smile. Got drama? Get rid of it.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


Been Rejected Yet?

January 21st, 2013

(Been Rejected Yet?)

Has someone ever not liked you? Has a friend turned out to be not a friend? Were you picked last for something? Did someone ever turn you down, break up with you, lie about you, lie to you? Of course they did! It’s called rejection and it hurts. It hurts very badly. What can you do???

First, cry. That’s right. Whether you are man, women or child, crying is a release that is like no other. It is so necessary that I dare say that no healing can take place without it. Once you’ve cried and cried, it’s time to stop crying and open your eyes. It’s time to force yourself to get up, shower, dress your best and take a deep breath and say ” I am stronger than this” and mean it!

You will get through this. It’s not going to happen overnight. It will still hurt long after you don’t want it to hurt. It will leave a scar. That scar will be sensitive. That scar is a battle scar. That scar says you were hurt, the bleeding is over, you healed and you’ve got the proof.

No one goes to their grave without scars but if they do, they would be the ones who placated everyone. They would be the ones who never stood up for themselves. They would be the ones who got walked on, the doormats that justified their existence by saying they were keeping the peace. The ones who silenced their own voice.

That’s not who you are. You are the one that got slapped by life, spit out the blood, cried and grew stronger. You are the one that grew in compassion because you know how it feels. You are the one that said “Things are going to change and I can do it and if it happens again, I’ll get through that too” Well done.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride



January 14th, 2013

Pom-Poms Anyone?

Each of us is greatly influenced by support. Positive reinforcement works very well for people and animals of all species. Every child shapes his or her future by what they are praised for and what they are chastised for day in and day out. Dogs become house trained not by their own initiative but by what they are rewarded for with praise or treats. Every path in life is easier with support and praise. But what if there is no support or praise on our chosen path? What then?

Each of us has two choices when support is absent. We can pick up the whip and drive ourselves mercilessly or we can pick up the pom-poms and be our own cheerleader. Both are called motivation but only one will bring peace and joy into our lives. The whip is the symbol of criticism and a Machiavellian focus on the destination. The pom-pom is a symbol of support and joy and a focus on the journey.

Years ago, up in Maine, I watched a tractor pulling contest. Team after team of oxen were yelled at by big burly drivers and with whips cracking over their heads, the oxen pulled those sleds. I, along with everyone else there, was astonished to see a slight woman come with her team and just by talking approvingly to her team, win the contest.

We are no different than those oxen. We will respond and pull our load through life no matter what but who drives us will determine whether this is a beautiful journey or a drudge. There are two drivers inside each of us. Which driver we choose will affect our life and influence the lives of our children and everyone we love. Choose wisely.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride


Stepping on Glass

January 7th, 2013

Stepping on Glass

Walking barefoot and stepping on a piece of glass is usually a painful experience. I say usually because there is one place where that isn’t true. Go down to where the ocean waves crash upon the sand and there you will find pieces of glass that were once sharp, worthless shards but are now smooth treasures from the sea that we covet. What happened?

Our problems, be they relationships, job, money, spiritual or health related are sharp objects that cut into our psyche every time they come to mind. Time and time again they cut into our happiness. They continuously bleed us of any optimism or solution. There seems to be no way to handle them without pain. What can we do?

Let go. Throw it into the sea. “But I don’t live near the ocean” you say. I’m not talking about the salt water ocean. I’m talking about about the sea of consciousness. I’m talking about what I call God. When the pain becomes unbearable, I always say “Dear God. You have got my attention with this pain. Please take it away. Tumble it with your love and return to me the lesson.” It comes back looking the same as the pain but now it has no rough or sharp edges. Now it no longer cuts. Now it is a treasure, an important addition to my life, part of my wealth.

How many times have you heard a person describe their worst crisis as a blessing? It’s because the sharp edges are gone and they now see the treasure. Nothing that comes into your life is a punishment. Everything is a blessing. When you see your life this way, your life becomes better than it has ever been.
May all the glass you step on be smooth.

(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride