September 30th, 2019
Step Five –
Depending upon where you are in life, Step Five may be the most important. If you get this one right, most of the other steps are benefited too.
Step Five is LOVE.
Love has all kinds of interpretations and all kinds of problems and baggage attached to it. It is a huge subject that has filled libraries with books, galleries with art and battlefields with bodies.
There are as many interpretations of love as there are people. However, there is one kind of love that is common to most and it is the most important to understand. It is the love of self.
You can have the best home life, the best education and the best looks but if you don’t love yourself what good is it? Everybody can think you are the greatest and they all want to be you but if you don’t love yourself none of this matters.
Loving yourself is THE most important action you can take.
How do you love yourself? Do you just wrap your arms around yourself and give it a great big hug? Do you go out and buy yourself some exotic trip or shiny object that makes you feel good for a short while? Do you blow kisses to the mirror?
None of the above. There is one and only one way to love yourself. You love yourself by choosing what thoughts you consistently dwell upon.
No one can stop random thoughts, good or bad, from entering their mind but everyone has the choice to either continue dwelling on thoughts that feel bad or to change the channel and think a different thought.
Ask yourself from time to time “how am I feeling?”. If you are feeling fine, carry on. If you are not feeling fine, take a look at what you have been thinking about. Have you been building yourself up? Have you been putting a positive spin on your plans for the future? That’s love. Or have you been criticizing yourself for something in your past for the umpteenth time or maybe harshly judging the way you look? That’s not love.
How do you know if you are loving yourself or just being selfish? That’s easy. If you find yourself without empathy for other people you are being selfish.
Loving yourself or not loving yourself determines most of the relationships you have. If you don’t love yourself you are going to try very hard to love someone else in the hopes that they will give you back the love you couldn’t give to yourself. It’s a gamble with worse odds than a casino.
Loving yourself means making choices that benefit you and do not harm you. Loving yourself means resting when you need to rest. Loving yourself means constantly being your own cheerleader. Loving yourself means severing any contact with toxic people.
Remember, no one on this planet should be allowed to belittle you. Not even you.
Sundrops On Life -Better Thoughts. Better Days.
September 26th, 2019
Step Four –
Yes, you have problems. Everyone does but everyone’s problems are not necessarily your problem unless of course you are a parent or caretaker. In that case the problems of someone else are front and center in your thoughts.
You can be healthy, do yoga, eat right, help old ladies across the street and spend hours in church and you can still be a hot mess because someone you love or someone you are in charge of has problems.
How do you cope? Focus on you, your life and who and what is truly important in your life.
If you find that on top of all of the problems you are dealing with, you are getting upset about politics or anything outside of your control – Stop it!
You have enough on your plate. What is happening with your second cousin’s ex girlfriend’s brother’s next door neighbor should not take up one millisecond of your time.
If you are sick, focus exclusively on getting better. If you are taking care of someone, get yourself in the best mental, physical and emotional shape possible and take care of them from a place of strength and clarity. If something is happening in Timbuktu or Uruguay just fuhgeddaboudit.
You are not in control of or responsible for the whole world just your world. Your world consists of yourself and those you love. 99.999 percent of your time and energy should be spent focusing on your world.
Like all of us you have a limited amount of time and energy. Where is it going? Are you giving time and energy to people who could care less? Are you giving time and energy to people who are using your time and energy and consistently giving nothing back? It may be time for a personal energy audit.
This life is short but for those who are suffering the hours are very, very long. Suffering takes many forms. People who are suffering in their minds with depression, anxiety or any other mental malady may be in more pain than someone in a cast. People with chronic illnesses rarely find even the smallest relief.
This world is not just flowers and rainbows. It is also thorns and thunder. Always focus on yourself first and then and only then help everyone in your world. Stay strong.
Tomorrow – Step Five.
Love the Light Within. Patrick
Sundrops On Life – Better Thoughts. Better Days.
September 25th, 2019
Step Three – Take a Breath.
When you came into this world the first thing that you did was take a breath and then another and you continued right up to this very moment.
Your breath keeps your every muscle, organ, tissue and cell alive. The end of breathing is the end of physical life. “What does this have to do with fixing my problems or changing my life?” you may ask. The answer is well…everything.
You can go an entire lifetime without ever attempting to consciously alter your breathing pattern and you would still live a long healthy life.
Many people have experienced panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Although they are not exactly the same, a feeling of shortness of breath is common to them both and that feeling alone is enough to make anyone feel like they are dying( no one has ever died from this).
In times of distress our breathing feels terrifyingly out of control. The wonderful, amazing truth is that even though it may seem out of control you can control it! When you control your breathing you control your response. We have let our breathing go on autopilot for so long that we forget that we can take manual control of our breathing any time we wish.
There are a myriad number of breathing techniques. Some are thousands of years old. One of the simplest and most effective is based on the number four.
When you wish to calm yourself, focus yourself or become totally present, inhale slowly to the count of four, hold that breath for the count of four, slowly exhale to the count of four and hold that exhalation for the count of four and then repeat the whole process if needed. It’s called the Four Fours. Very, very powerful.
We cannot breathe an hour ago or an hour into the future. We can only breathe right now in the present moment. Your breath not only keeps you alive but focusing on your breath at any moment brings you into the present moment and the present moment is the only moment you have power.
Become aware of your breathing and you can successfully meditate. Become aware of your breathing and you can focus like a laser beam on anything. Become aware of your breathing and you can relax, de-stress and fall back asleep.
When problems, a crisis or bad feelings try to take over, first thing to do is to control your breathing and after that solutions will appear. Breathe.
(I am used to writing three Sundrops every day and I will get back to that shortly. After more than twenty years of writing those, I guess I had more to share with you. Feels good. I hope it helps even a little bit.)
Step Four tomorrow.
Love the Light Within. Patrick
Sundrops On Life – Better Thoughts. Better Days.
(c)2019 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
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September 24th, 2019
Step Two – (See yesterday’s Sundrops for Step One)
Do something.
How do you handle your difficulties? We all have them. No one gets to spend their entire life sitting on a cloud like a Care Bear and just shining good vibes.
Life is tough no matter what anyone says. Maybe it’s your own problems that take you down. Maybe you’re fine but the pain your loved one is going through absolutely knocks you out on many levels.
Pain and worry take an awful toll on the body and the spirit. A tremendous amount of stress can build day after day until you are consumed by it.
No matter the problem, you must find a way to release all that building tension. If you don’t, that tension becomes a terrible addition to what already bothers you.
Most overwhelmed people can’t spend an hour at a local yoga studio for one reason or another but everyone can do something at home. There are YouTube videos that can apply to just about anyone. There is even Bed Yoga for bed bound people.
It doesn’t have to be Yoga. It can be anything. Several years ago I met a remarkable woman named Clare. Clare was in her eighties and had a very long list of ailments and just walking to the kitchen was a painful ordeal. Every day she put her problems aside and was the only caretaker for her ninety year old husband. He was afflicted with Alzheimers and was quite a handful.
Clare had always been quite active but a series of operations had made her sedentary. She spent all of her days watching and taking care of her Harold. Outside she looked rather peaceful but inside she used to be filled with stress and worry. Years ago a long walk would have alleviated most of that but it was impossible now.
So Clare worked with what she had. She would take a damp washcloth and roll it up and squeeze it twenty five times with one hand and then twenty five times with the other hand. She also had a small ball of yarn that she kept on the floor in front of her chair. She would take her shoes off and with her toes pass the ball of yarn from one foot to the other a few times. She did both of these exercises several times a day. She called her washcloths and her balls of yarn her “Sanity Trainers”.
No one is going to get to the Olympics exercising with washcloths and yarn but it made an Olympic size difference to how Clare dealt with her stress and ailments.
The takeaway here is that you have to do something physical every singe day to relieve the pressure of your problems. Each of us has different capabilities but all of us can do something. You may think that watching TV or going online takes you away from your problems but they are only distractions. They have their place but they are no substitute for doing something physical.
Your mind and body are linked together.Your mind is always active. Your body needs to be too. There has to be balance. Physically, it’s not what you do once or twice that makes a difference. It’s what you consistently do that that keeps the darkness at bay.
Go for a walk or grab a video or a washcloth or a soup can or a kettle bell and release some of that tension every day. Don’t let stress and tension darken your life and your outlook. Do something.
Tomorrow I will describe Step Three.
Love the Light Within. Patrick
Sundrops On Life – Better Thoughts. Better Days.
(c)2019 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
September 23rd, 2019
No one knows what you are going through. Oh, you may have a close friend or family member to confide in but they are not you 24/7 only you are.
You may have trouble with physical pain, emotional pain or spiritual pain or all three. Or they may alternate every day. Maybe you have relationship or lack of relationship problems. Maybe you have money problems. Maybe you are afraid that you are losing your mind.
It could be that something in your past won’t leave you alone. It could be that you are terribly lonely or maybe you are not at all happy with your body. Or maybe it’s depression, fear or anxiety or all three.
Maybe some of these things torment you once in a while or maybe they are your constant companion. Whatever it is, whether I mentioned it above or not, it can be better.
Yes, you’ve tried and tried to improve the quality of your life. You’ve chased more solutions than you can remember. You are a good person and you feel that you don’t deserve all this and you are right.
There is no magic wand that is going to instantly solve every problem for you but there is a way to make your life better. There is a way to look forward to the next day and the next and the next.
Step One –
Stop complaining. It doesn’t matter how true or justified you think your issues are, complaining never lets your problems cool off. Every complaint breathes new life into your problems. Believe me, your problems do not need any more reinforcement.
The other thing about complaining is that other people get very tired of hearing about other people’s problems and mostly tune them out. Everyone wants to talk about their problems and not yours.
You can state facts e.g. “I don’t feel well” “I need help” “This thing is bothering me” ” I am lonely” etc. But it is unnecessary and it is upsetting to your own psyche to constantly be describing and repeating in detail every single thing that bothers you.
Complaining about things on the other side of the world or outside of your influence while you are dealing with your issues is silly. There will ALWAYS be something and someone in this world that you can get upset about. Resist that temptation with all your might. Your complaining about issues outside of your control or influence changes nothing, a complete waste of time and energy.
If you are complaining about what happened in the past you are robbing this moment of your full and undivided attention and you are going to need your full and undivided attention if you wish to improve.
Remember, if you state it, it stays a fact. If you dwell upon it, it may easily morph into a complaint. Be vigilant. Your improvement depends upon it.
I don’t want to make this too long so tomorrow I will describe Step Two.
Love the Light Within. Patrick
Sundrops On Life – Better Thoughts. Better Days.
(c)2019 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life