July 22nd, 2013
How do you get to feeling good when you are feeling bad? There are all kinds of people, germs, accidents and genetics that have a different agenda than making you happy. Sure, there are flowers and rainbows and wonderful songs and books and people but you can’t just tote them around in a backpack like some kind of happiness insurance.
We speak of the practice of music or medicine or meditation in order to become a good musician, doctor or meditator but what does it take to be feeling good? Practice!!
We love happiness. We revel in happiness when it appears. We pursue happiness as if it was the last bowl of ice cream on the planet. And we wait and we wait some more for it to show up again. Do we wait for education to show up? Do we wait for muscles to show up? No, we work at them. We practice. How do we practice feeling good?
First and most importantly, we start right now wherever we are and however we feel. Secondly, we commit to achieving a better feeling regardless of the stubborn voice in our head that tells us not to change course. And then we smile a small smile. A sincere, small smile. A smile that says we chart our own course. And then we smile a little bit bigger smile. And suddenly we feel the tiny flow of well being start up again. And then we tell ourselves that whatever is going on, IT’S OKAY. We don’t have to like it and we may want to change it as fast as we can but regardless, IT’S OKAY. We can handle it and we can handle it with the mood of our choosing. That’s incredibly powerful! That’s incredibly doable! That’s incredible you!
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 8th, 2013
“I told you that!” “No, you didn’t!” “Yes, I did!” “No, you didn’t!” “Yes, I did!”
We are told that communication is about both speaking and listening and a good case can be made for refining our ability to do both very well. But there is another part of communication that is rarely mentioned.
When you speak, is any body listening? Oh sure, there is someone right in front of you and you are speaking to them and it is easy to assume that because you are talking to them they are listening to you. You may be wrong.
Sometimes the voice in the listener’s mind is louder and more demanding than yours. Sometimes they are hearing you but not listening to you. Rather they are listening to their own mind’s chatter. So how do you know if they are really listening? YOU have to be totally present and totally focused every time you speak to someone.
Many times, the more we think we know someone, the more off handed and casual we speak to them even when we are being serious, unrealistically expecting them to hear and record every word we say. BUT if you cannot be present and focused on what you are saying don’t expect them to be present and focused on what they are hearing.
If you are going to give praise, support, love or if you are going to talk about what you are feeling be present be focused. Look for signs that your words are touching the other person. Look for a hunger in their eyes for your next word. Create that with your presence. Nothing is sadder than an “I love you” or an “I feel hurt” that was spoken but never heard. If the words you are speaking matter to you, be present, be focused, be heard.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 1st, 2013
When we categorize someone as a woman or a man, it isn’t just an observation like whether it is day or night. It is a judgement. Certain roles and rules suddenly apply to that person. Are they too masculine or too feminine? Identified and labeled! Are they not masculine enough? Are they not feminine enough? Identified and labeled! Are their pecs, breasts, muscles and genitals worthy of pursuit! Identified and labeled! Do they seem to have a large bitch or jerk propensity! Identified and labeled!
After all these and a dozen more tabulations are made, we decide whether or not we will engage the person and whether or not they can be an asset to us. And then, we sit and we endlessly ponder why more people can’t be friendly and open just like us. The fact is that after all of our tabulations, we actually believe that we know the person because we have labeled them so deftly as if they were a South American butterfly that we had killed and mounted and identified and labeled.
All men and all women are so much more than we can see. They are so much more than their gender, bodies, financial and educational level. They are dreaming, feeling, upset, scared, unsure, anxious, complex beings powered by a spirit that they are trying to connect with to find the instructions on what to do next just like you and I. Give them a break. Hold your gossip, give a little praise, forget the well timed snide remark or look and forgive them. Make their life a little easier and not harder. Everybody is having a day just like you have had. You know what it felt like. If someone had been kind to you on one of those days, it would have meant more than gold to you. You have that power. Go ahead, give them a break and a kind word. You’ll both be better for it and the world will get a little brighter.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
June 17th, 2013
Yesterday, I was sitting in the parking lot and staring at a brand new Rolls Royce to my left. I hadn’t seen one in years. As far as cars go, it was beautiful and as far as symbols go, it was up there in the stratosphere. As I condensed my shopping list to what I actually needed, I was hoping that the owner would come out so that I could judge them.
A minute or two later, a top of the line, brand new Mercedes pulled into the empty space in front of me. The woman got out and her eyes locked on the Rolls to her right. She dug into her very expensive purse, pulled out her phone and started snapping picture of the Rolls. She saw me staring at her and the Rolls and she said. “My dream car”. I nodded in approval and she went in to shop.
As improbable as it sounds, someone, somewhere was probably lusting after my ten year old Toyota as I was lusting after the Mercedes in front of me and the lady, now shopping, was lusting after the Rolls. I’m sure that the driver of the Rolls was lusting after some other car in the world too.
There was a whole lot of lusting going on at the grocery store yesterday and that got me to thinking about how much is enough and I realized that there is never enough and there shouldn’t be. Do we want more air than the breath we just took? Do we want another meal after all we ate yesterday? Do we want some sleep tonight even though we slept last night? Do we want more for our loved ones? Yes, yes, yes and yes!
Wanting is not wrong. It is life’s desire for expansion. It is only when the wanting overshadows our gratitude for where we are and what blessings we have right now that we lose our way. Remember, if you curse where you are in life, you will remain there.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
June 10th, 2013
Once upon a time there was a young girl and she dreamed wild dreams and she sang wild songs and she smiled knowingly at the wind. Her world was full and wondrous but it was not every ones world.
Every ones world was filled with chores and yelling and hurts. Every ones world was filled with strangers and moods and misunderstandings and school. The young girl visited her world as often as she could but every ones world took up more and more of her time. Soon, the road back to her world became overgrown and hard to navigate. She had to make up her mind to either go into her world and let the path overgrow behind her or stay in every ones world and let the path to her world disappear. The path disappeared.
The girl became a woman and the woman longed for a different world than the one she was in. Now and then she would dream a wild dream or hear a note or two of a wild song on the wind and she smiled but didn’t know why. She searched for people with answers. She read books to find the map. She took lovers to make them leaders but they never lead her to where she thought she belonged.
One day she cried so hard that her body shook and her breath came in gasps and eyes puffed up and all the wrong untethered itself from her soul and for a moment she felt free. “The path awaits those who are free” she heard on the wind and she smiled and she knew why she smiled.
She is still free today and she dreams wild dreams and she sings wild songs and she travels freely between two worlds. She swept the past and present wrongs from her life and that made all the difference in both worlds.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
May 13th, 2013
(You are Invaluable!)
“All you have to do is focus on what you want” they say. But what if you don’t know what you want. What if, regardless of your age, you don’t have a clue about what you want to be when you grow up? What then?
One of the first things you must understand is that “HELLO! Everyone does not operate out of the same instruction manual!” People without well defined goals are not lazy. People without a clear vision of where they are going are not lost. People who are treading water are not wasting their lives. Every person in every second of their life is living it perfectly. Stop judging others and stop judging yourself. You didn’t write the script for this amazing play. You have a part just like everyone else and it’s working just fine. The only thing you get to change is your attitude.
If you are sitting on your butt trying to figure out what to do then revel in the fact that you are sitting on your butt trying to figure out what to do. Don’t berate yourself for not having answers. Don’t berate yourself for not having “made it”. You may have a defining moment in your life that tells you what it was for or you may be changing hearts and minds long after you die just because you lived your life a certain way.
The shepherd out on the mesa does not have a poorer life than the CEO. Your wealth, your worth does not come from some amazing accomplishment or some great resume. Your worth, your wealth comes from being kind, from caring, from loving. Your worth comes from not criticizing yourself for not being “more”or for not being a “somebody”. Your worth, what you should be when you grow up comes down to one thing. Be kind to yourself and others. The Director will make sure your part is meaningful.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
May 6th, 2013
(You are Blessed!)
Anger makes little things large and makes the insignificant significant. It is a fire that devours everything and everybody in its wake. In its search for more fuel it will search every file in your memory for any person, place or thing that ever upset you at any time and make it feel current. How do you tame the beast?
First of all, getting upset at yourself for getting angry just adds fuel to the fire. Now you get to be mad at yourself along with everyone else. Don’t do that. Secondly, blame is to anger what a strong wind is to a forest fire. Stop blaming. Thirdly, stop thinking of your anger as a runaway train. You do have your hands on the controls at all times. Anger is just convincing you not to use them. Use them.
What I am about to tell you can change your life. When you feel anger rear its ugly but powerful head, clap your hands. Just like a hypnotist bringing someone back from a deep trance, clap your hands once and say to yourself; “My life is not fueled by anger. My life is fueled by love!”. This hits the emergency brake on your anger. BUT in the next critical moment you must understand that getting rid of your anger is going to leave a vacuum and if you don’t fill that vacuum with something, anger will be sucked back in.
The next critical step is to fill that now empty space with gratitude. Immediately start thinking about your blessings to the exclusion of everything else. It will be a struggle for a bit but a struggle that you can definitely win each and every time. Don’t let anger steal your peace of mind, your judgement or your relationships. Give it the clap.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
April 29th, 2013
(Got problems?)
If a problem persists in your life, then at some point you must come to realize that in order to find the solution you have to change where you have been looking. The solution you seek is not going to come out of some notebook of past solutions that you have been keeping. The new solution is going to be found by going down different paths and entertaining new ideas and yes, getting a little scared in the process. It’s called growing.
As we get older, our bag of solutions, if not continually updated, gets ineffective and so we resign ourselves to having problems that have no solutions. Nothing could be further from the truth. THERE IS NO PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE WITHOUT A CORRESPONDING SOLUTION!
From this day forward, stop focusing on problems and start becoming solution oriented. Stop using your energy to strengthen your problems! Stop fighting against life and start working with it. Stop being against so many things and start being for what you want. You don’t have problems to fix, you have solutions to strengthen. Stop cursing the night and start celebrating the coming dawn.
Any problem, whether it be spiritual, physical, emotional or mental is just another opportunity to grow. Do you have a problem with health, relationships or money? Don’t fight it and don’t give up. Solve it. Maybe you haven’t been able to find the solution looking in all the old places well, guess what? It’s time to search some new places. What if you don’t have any support? Explore anyway. You are responsible for you. Find your own answers and embrace them. It’s scary and wonderful and exciting and amazing and best of all – you can do it!
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
April 8th, 2013
(You are strong!)
There comes times in life when giving up seems not only a great relief but the best possible choice. Suddenly, giving up on a dream or a relationship that you once held tightly seems the only way. For days and sometimes years later you continue to play “what if” games with yourself concerning your decision. Giving up always involves some level of regret, longing, in other words, attachment.
When you take a step to walk towards something you want, you don’t give up on where you are. You see what you want to be, do or have and you move towards it. Simple, right? Since you learned to take your first steps, you have enjoyed the ability to move towards what you want. Even if you fell down, you got back up and kept moving towards what you wanted.
From today onwards, there’s no more giving up. Banish that phrase from your vocabulary. There is only moving forward towards what you really want. If where you are in a job or a relationship or a state of health is unacceptable, start stepping towards your dream, your joy, what you really want. Don’t settle!
You don’t give up on the beach to go into the ocean for a swim. You just move towards what you want. You don’t give up on addiction. You move to healthier choices. You don’t give up on toxic people. You move towards better people. You don’t give up on a bad job. You move towards a good one. You don’t give up on improving you. You move towards being kind to you.
Giving up keeps you attached to the way it was. Moving forward makes you free. Take a step!
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
April 1st, 2013
(Do it Beautifully!)
This morning I watched our dog, Jasper, run around the yard and I thought to myself that he runs beautifully. The thought struck me that we refer to certain people as being beautiful but how about what people DO? We can watch a person dance or cook or paint and say to ourselves that they are doing it beautifully but what about the man that pushes the shopping carts in the parking lot? He’s done it a thousand times and he knows how many carts act this way or that. Or how about the nurse that switches the IV bag without waking the patient.
There are actions being done beautifully all around us all the time. We are even contributing some of that beautifulness ourselves. Things being done beautifully aren’t just those practiced actions being done on stage and in classes and on film. Everyday actions are being done beautifully everywhere.
We don’t see the beautiful because we are not looking for what’s right, what’s working, what doesn’t need fixing. We have been raised as problem solvers and we get rewarded for solving problems and so we are always looking for problems to fix. If someone is doing something beautifully and right, we pass right over it to find the person who is doing it wrong so that we can present our solution and be rewarded with a pat on the back or a knowing smile.
Today, watch people uncritically, without judgement. Watch the way they walk or work or maybe the way they bag your groceries or the way they drive. Some of these things are being done beautifully. Much more than you have imagined.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com