September 30th, 2013
It doesn’t matter that you surrender, give up, let go, forgive, move on or put it behind you. It’s going to remain in your mind. It’s going to surface every now and then, usually when you are at your weakest or most vulnerable. It’s going to duplicate inside of you similar feelings to when it was actually happening. What can you do?
Three steps. First of all you have to firmly tell yourself INHN. Shout it to yourself if necessary. INHN (pronounced in hin) stands for It’s Not Happening Now. Secondly, look around. What IS actually going on now? Focus on now. Breathe. Inhale to a slow count of four. Hold it for a slow count of four. Exhale to a slow found of four. Hold it for a slow count of four. Repeat if necessary.
Don’t make the mistake of trying to figure out what caused you to remember. That’s a trap that keeps you connected and keeps it very alive. You may come up with a truth but not necessarily the truth. You don’t need to figure this stuff out for the millionth time. You need to put your thoughts elsewhere.
Thoughts that disturb you have energy and passion to them. In order to displace them you need to have thoughts that are equally or better yet, more energized and passion filled. These are not just going to occur to you. You will have some homework to do. Thirdly, when you are feeling good, write down three or four thoughts that really floats your boat. From real incidences or from your imagination (your mind can’t tell the difference) find those scenarios that make you feel really, really excited. Keep that list with you and refer to it as often as you need it. Pretty soon, every time your past pulls a knife, you’ll pull a gun. You win every time.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
August 26th, 2013
What do you believe? I’m not talking about a particular deity or a particular spiritual practice. I’m not even talking about science or politics. No, I’m asking you a question that is much more important. What do you believe about you? Well, today’s your lucky day. I just happen to have some answers for you. Let me tell you what I believe about you.
You saw the world differently than others when you were small. You could tell when people were lying. You could tell when people honestly liked you and when there was no connection. I believe you still can. You grew up and you felt and endured hurt from others but you kept it to yourself. I believe you can let it go now. You felt bad when you bent to someones will. I believe you are stronger than that now. You knew there was a path for you but it kept disappearing. I believe you are on it now. You want to help make life easier for others. I believe you always have and you will continue to do so. You want to love and be loved in return. I believe you are loved far more than you know. You want someone to completely understand you. I believe that person is inside of you and not outside of you.
I believe that you want to make changes in your health and wealth and I believe you can. I believe that today might be the most important day of your life because I believe that you will look back on this very day and say that was the day I started to appreciate myself. I believe that today you are going to find that indomitable place inside of you and you are going to identify with it. I believe that what you think that people think about you is no where near as important as what you think about you. I believe that you are going to find out just how wonderful you are very soon. I believe that you believe.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved
www. PatrickInspires. com
On Facebook -Sundrops On Life
August 12th, 2013
When you look into your past, do you ever think “I should have done that differently” or “I should have made a better choice”? And then get upset with yourself? Of course you do. We all do.
How about if you look into your past and you see yourself getting lost somewhere at ten years of age. And you say “I was so stupid. I should have just looked at my smartphone!” And you start getting really upset that you didn’t use this useful device but then you stop and say “Whoa! What am I doing? They didn’t have smartphones when I was ten!”.
Seem preposterous? Of course it does but we do it every day. We look into our past with the eyes, the knowledge, the wisdom, the experience and the lessons we have learned and accumulated since then and we harshly judge our past self who had none of that! There is little in life that is more unfair.
Remember, you have always done the best you could with the knowledge that you had and the conditions that you were under. Your past is merely a history book. It is just the facts of what happened. It is not evidence to be used to prosecute yourself or shame yourself or denigrate yourself. It is just your story, written and unchangeable. Look at it with compassion and kindness and remember it is not who you are now.
You are better, wiser and more aware than you have ever been. The past calls to you but so does the future. One is a story already written and the other is a story that you will write fresh or copy from what has already been written. Let’s start a new story today, one of strength and confidence and love. Ready?
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 29th, 2013
What kind of day are you having? Is it a day of upsets, catch ups and overload? Is it a day of “there must be a better way”? Well, you are right and this is your lucky day!
First of all, it’s a lucky day because you are alive and if you are alive you can change things and if you can change things they can start getting better. Secondly, this day isn’t over yet. That means you can still pull this off. This day might have been going into the books as a bad day or a just get through it day but right now you can change it into a day that turned around and actually turned out very good. Ready?
If you decide that you actually have the power to make this a better day (you do), for the next hour you are going to feel like a salmon going up and over the falls. All the really great reasons for this not being a good day that you were comfortably flowing along with are now going to be rushing at you when you turn around. All the people you got to agree with you this morning are going to be trying to turn you back around to flow with them. Don’t do it!
Start by picking two things that you are grateful for right now. Just two. Only two! Think about them. Visualize them. Uh-oh, what’s happening? You’re smiling a little bit. There’s kind of a good feeling bubbling through your body like little club soda bubbles. It feels kinda good. Oh wow, the smile is responding by getting a little bigger. Well what do you know, there’s suddenly a better feeling in your belly, in your heart, in your eyes, on your face. Hey, maybe it’s not such a bad day after all. You know what would make it even better? You staying fixated on what’s right on not on what’s wrong. Wow, that salmon made it! Amazing!
Have a great day. There’s still time.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 15th, 2013
What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see hands that delicately held a child or a puppy or a kitten? Do you see arms that hugged someone and didn’t want to let go? Do you see scars that have a story of battles won and lost, accidents and misjudgments healed? Do you see eyes looking back at you wondering where the years have gone? Do you see lips that are smiling back at you? Do you see promise and possibilities?
When we look at ourselves in the mirror we don’t see ourselves objectively we see ourselves as we have been thinking. If we have been thinking that we look pretty good, the mirror will confirm that. If we think we could lose a few pounds or need some more muscle, the mirror will agree. If we have been thinking that we are too anything , too short, too tall, too pale, too fat, too skinny, etc., the mirror will not disagree.
We look in the mirror to confirm what we have been thinking and we are seldom surprised by what we see. There is no ideal reflection. There is just a confirmation of our thoughts. Two people, each weighing four hundred pounds, look in the mirror. One gets completely depressed because he’s four hundred pounds and one gets blissfully overjoyed because she used to weigh six hundred pounds. The mirror showed four hundred pounds to each of them.
The mirror and your world will always be a reflection of what you are thinking. Next time you look in the mirror, desire to see someone wonderful, someone who cares and loves. Try to see someone that knows pain and hurt but doesn’t live there. If you look closely, you’ll see a person looking back at you who wants nothing more than for you to love them and to believe in them. Start thinking more positively about yourself. Start doing the right thing. Start seeing the good in your life. Start focusing on your strengths and kindnesses. Start thinking about all of the things you have done right. Start being a little kinder with your thoughts of you. The mirror will love you for it.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 8th, 2013
“I told you that!” “No, you didn’t!” “Yes, I did!” “No, you didn’t!” “Yes, I did!”
We are told that communication is about both speaking and listening and a good case can be made for refining our ability to do both very well. But there is another part of communication that is rarely mentioned.
When you speak, is any body listening? Oh sure, there is someone right in front of you and you are speaking to them and it is easy to assume that because you are talking to them they are listening to you. You may be wrong.
Sometimes the voice in the listener’s mind is louder and more demanding than yours. Sometimes they are hearing you but not listening to you. Rather they are listening to their own mind’s chatter. So how do you know if they are really listening? YOU have to be totally present and totally focused every time you speak to someone.
Many times, the more we think we know someone, the more off handed and casual we speak to them even when we are being serious, unrealistically expecting them to hear and record every word we say. BUT if you cannot be present and focused on what you are saying don’t expect them to be present and focused on what they are hearing.
If you are going to give praise, support, love or if you are going to talk about what you are feeling be present be focused. Look for signs that your words are touching the other person. Look for a hunger in their eyes for your next word. Create that with your presence. Nothing is sadder than an “I love you” or an “I feel hurt” that was spoken but never heard. If the words you are speaking matter to you, be present, be focused, be heard.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
June 10th, 2013
Once upon a time there was a young girl and she dreamed wild dreams and she sang wild songs and she smiled knowingly at the wind. Her world was full and wondrous but it was not every ones world.
Every ones world was filled with chores and yelling and hurts. Every ones world was filled with strangers and moods and misunderstandings and school. The young girl visited her world as often as she could but every ones world took up more and more of her time. Soon, the road back to her world became overgrown and hard to navigate. She had to make up her mind to either go into her world and let the path overgrow behind her or stay in every ones world and let the path to her world disappear. The path disappeared.
The girl became a woman and the woman longed for a different world than the one she was in. Now and then she would dream a wild dream or hear a note or two of a wild song on the wind and she smiled but didn’t know why. She searched for people with answers. She read books to find the map. She took lovers to make them leaders but they never lead her to where she thought she belonged.
One day she cried so hard that her body shook and her breath came in gasps and eyes puffed up and all the wrong untethered itself from her soul and for a moment she felt free. “The path awaits those who are free” she heard on the wind and she smiled and she knew why she smiled.
She is still free today and she dreams wild dreams and she sings wild songs and she travels freely between two worlds. She swept the past and present wrongs from her life and that made all the difference in both worlds.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
May 6th, 2013
(You are Blessed!)
Anger makes little things large and makes the insignificant significant. It is a fire that devours everything and everybody in its wake. In its search for more fuel it will search every file in your memory for any person, place or thing that ever upset you at any time and make it feel current. How do you tame the beast?
First of all, getting upset at yourself for getting angry just adds fuel to the fire. Now you get to be mad at yourself along with everyone else. Don’t do that. Secondly, blame is to anger what a strong wind is to a forest fire. Stop blaming. Thirdly, stop thinking of your anger as a runaway train. You do have your hands on the controls at all times. Anger is just convincing you not to use them. Use them.
What I am about to tell you can change your life. When you feel anger rear its ugly but powerful head, clap your hands. Just like a hypnotist bringing someone back from a deep trance, clap your hands once and say to yourself; “My life is not fueled by anger. My life is fueled by love!”. This hits the emergency brake on your anger. BUT in the next critical moment you must understand that getting rid of your anger is going to leave a vacuum and if you don’t fill that vacuum with something, anger will be sucked back in.
The next critical step is to fill that now empty space with gratitude. Immediately start thinking about your blessings to the exclusion of everything else. It will be a struggle for a bit but a struggle that you can definitely win each and every time. Don’t let anger steal your peace of mind, your judgement or your relationships. Give it the clap.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
April 15th, 2013
(You have a voice!)
“What’s wrong?” The answer to this question will change your life. Maybe.
When you are asked; “What’s wrong?” your typical first response is: “Nothing.” Why do you have this quick, patented answer? Is it because you believe that your “stuff” isn’t important. Is it because you believe that you already know the response and where it will lead? Or maybe because you don’t want to rock the boat? Or do you believe that the other person can beat you or belittle you with the volume of their voice or their command of semantics or debate?
Whatever the reason for saying “Nothing” it is a lie if you truly feel something is wrong and lying always diminishes your self worth. It takes guts to tell the truth. It takes guts to not sugar coat your response. It takes guts not to preface your answer with cowering phrases like “You probably won’t agree but…” or “I might be totally wrong but…” or ” I might just be crazy but I…” or “You’ll probably get mad if I say this but…” and all the variations.
Speak up anyway! If you feel something is wrong, speak up! If you feel you have been abused, speak up! If you feel someone has treated you badly, speak up! If you feel that you are being cheated, lessened, cheated on, demeaned, ridiculed, belittled or hurt, speak up!
It is very important to remember that as you speak up you get the courage to continue. Great courage never comes before you speak. When you speak up you are righting a wrong. When you speak up you are honoring your own personal integrity. When you speak up the feces may come in direct contact with the oscillating blades but you will have stood toe to toe with your biggest fears and said “Get out of my way. I’ve got something to say!”and a bigger, better you is born.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
April 1st, 2013
(Do it Beautifully!)
This morning I watched our dog, Jasper, run around the yard and I thought to myself that he runs beautifully. The thought struck me that we refer to certain people as being beautiful but how about what people DO? We can watch a person dance or cook or paint and say to ourselves that they are doing it beautifully but what about the man that pushes the shopping carts in the parking lot? He’s done it a thousand times and he knows how many carts act this way or that. Or how about the nurse that switches the IV bag without waking the patient.
There are actions being done beautifully all around us all the time. We are even contributing some of that beautifulness ourselves. Things being done beautifully aren’t just those practiced actions being done on stage and in classes and on film. Everyday actions are being done beautifully everywhere.
We don’t see the beautiful because we are not looking for what’s right, what’s working, what doesn’t need fixing. We have been raised as problem solvers and we get rewarded for solving problems and so we are always looking for problems to fix. If someone is doing something beautifully and right, we pass right over it to find the person who is doing it wrong so that we can present our solution and be rewarded with a pat on the back or a knowing smile.
Today, watch people uncritically, without judgement. Watch the way they walk or work or maybe the way they bag your groceries or the way they drive. Some of these things are being done beautifully. Much more than you have imagined.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com