March 18th, 2013
(Who do you love?)
It’s easy to call to mind the people we love and the people we have loved. Most of us are blessed with at least a short list. If you were questioned, there would be absolutely no problem in stating for the record that your list, short or long, contains people you definitely love. But whose name is missing from that list? Over the years I have asked more than two thousand people to make a list of the people they love. Not one of them in all the years has added their own name.
When I point out this missing person, most people respond with some variation of “Oh, of course I love myself. I didn’t think I had to write that down.” The rest of the people just sit with a “Wow, what does that mean to me?” look on their face.
We all know how vitally important it is to tell those we love that we love them. We know that just assuming they know is a recipe for alienation. So, do you want to feel alienated from you? The big question is: can you feel comfortable looking in the mirror and saying “I love you”? It feels weird and funny and more than a little creepy like trying to say it to another third grader. But, pursue this and pretty soon it gets easier. The words flow more easily. Now and then there’s a smile and finally there’s a smile and a wink. No, it doesn’t mean you’re going crazy. It means that you are okay loving you and all of a sudden it becomes okay for other people to love what you see in the mirror.
If you had a dear, dear friend who you really, really loved would it matter how they looked? Of course not. You would love them anyway and probably tell them often. You may want them to make some changes but it doesn’t affect your love for them whether they do or not. Can you be that loving to you?
Next time you pass a mirror, send a little love your way.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
March 11th, 2013
(You are Blessed!)
Our joy in each day depends mainly on the amount AND the kind of energy we bring to it. Notice that I didn’t mention the weather, other people, health, finances, work, the news, your relatives, your age, your past or where you live. That is because although they matter, they matter far less than you believe they do.
Before you get out of bed each morning, all the “to do’s” run through your mind. All of the “I didn’t’s” do too. A brand new day waits in front of you and the day waits patiently for you to color it. If you don’t consciously choose a color, by default, the day will just use what color has been used recently. There’s usually plenty left over from your yesterday.
How about, just as an experiment, tomorrow morning when you wake, you open a brand new can of paint, a brand new color, maybe even your favorite? How about you make this color vibrant and filled with positive thoughts, energy and memories? How about you get so filled with joy, that you begin splashing this color all over your work?
Every thing and every one in your day will consciously or unconsciously start to come into harmony with the energy/color that you choose and hold onto because everyone seeks harmony with the dominant and prevailing energy. And YOU, yes, YOU can be the dominant and prevailing energy if you will choose it early and often in your day.
Each day is your new canvass. Don’t waste time trying in vain to repaint some yesterday. If you do, someone else will paint your today and it might not bring you the joy you could have had.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
February 25th, 2013
(Are You Offensive?)
Last year I was pondering on how bad I am at the game of chess. People always remarked how hard it was to beat me but in the end they always won regardless of how well I fought. It finally dawned on me that I spent all my time and energy on being defensive and little or no time on being offensive and actually winning. A huge “AHA” moment was on the verge of appearing.
Did this have greater implications in my life? Was I running my life like I play chess? Was I making sure that nothing bad happened to me and my family but not going for my dreams? Was I spending all of my time defending what I had instead of going for the score?
If you have ever watched a football game and seen the defense score a touchdown, you probably watched a huge celebration in the end zone. See, the defense doesn’t usually score. That’s not their job. If they just stop anything bad from happening, they’ve done their job. BUT that’s not all there is to winning. In order to win, you have to score. You have to put yourself out there and take a chance on getting tackled or maybe screwing up and fumbling. In other words, in order to win you have to go for it and risk failure, risk being criticized, risk being mocked, risk… well, everything.
Ask yourself, “Am I defending what I have or am I going for what I really want?” You can spend your entire life on the defense and just maybe you might get lucky and score OR you can get offensive. You can say “To hell with fear and the voices inside and outside my head that say I can’t make it, I’d be a fool to try! I’m on the offense now! I am going for the score!”
Whether it’s chess or football or life, you should play to win. No one will remember how well you defended what you had but generations will remember that you were brave enough to go for the win.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
February 18th, 2013
(THIS Day!)
Most mornings I’ll wake up and think about the things I have to do and I’ll move a bit to see if the regular pains are there and if there are any new ones to worry about. I’ll think about the bills that need paying and I’ll wonder where the money to pay them is coming from. But not THIS morning. THIS morning I will awaken and take a deep breath and even if I cough or hurt, that will be a signal that I am alive. THIS morning I will start thinking better thoughts. THIS morning I will trust that Heaven is there to help me if I believe. THIS morning will be different.
Most afternoons, I’ll eat my lunch because it’s lunch time. I’ll complain a bit about the morning and all the work I didn’t get done. I’ll dread having to shop on the way home and I’ll think of something easy to fix for dinner. I’ll be so tired going back to work after lunch, I don’t know how I will get anything done. But not THIS afternoon. THIS afternoon I am going to eat my lunch like it was the first meal I have eaten in a year. THIS afternoon I will savor every bite. I will mentally thank everyone who made this food in front of me possible. THIS afternoon I will plan the best dinner with whatever resources I have. I will shop and be amazed by all that is available. THIS afternoon when I am finished my lunch I will be more productive than I have ever been. THIS afternoon my complaints will fall as my gratitude rises and rise it will!
Most evenings I will come home and grumble about how I live. I’ll turn on the television and the computer and I’ll look for something even easier for dinner. I’ll dramatize my tiredness so no one will bother me and I’ll have a good reason to lash out if they do. I’ll eat dinner while I watch TV or sit at the computer. I’ll forget how it tasted and I’ll find some desert so that dinner will have some small pleasure. I’ll make the calls I have to because it is expected of me and I’ll go to bed knowing that I’m not going to sleep very well. But not THIS evening. THIS evening I’ll be thinking of my blessings beforehand so that when I step through the door after shopping or working, I’ll feel richer than King Solomon. THIS evening I’ll realize, maybe for the first time, what an incredible life I have and that anything is possible. THIS evening I’ll be thankful for everything from my shower to my bed to my lights to my food. I’ll cook the best meal I can with what I have. I’ll listen to music and wait to use the TV and computer until later. THIS evening I’ll eat consciously like I ate my lunch. THIS evening I will call who I want. THIS evening I will plan a better tomorrow. THIS evening I will give thanks. THIS evening I will lay my head down and rest. Should gentle sleep come, I will enjoy it. If it does not come easily I will rest THIS evening and I will know that I truly lived THIS day.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
February 11th, 2013
(You are Wrong!)
The three words that fill us with terror, have us scrambling for excuses or blame and automatically triggers a very defensive position are “You are Wrong!”These words have made us cringe since we were children. Things are different now that we have grown but our response is the same. Time for a change.
When we were children, we inadvertently did some things wrong. It was part of the learning process. As we grew older, we touched the hot stove less and we found out that we shouldn’t put a red shirt in the wash with our white clothes. We made less mistakes by accident. Now our mistakes were calculations that went astray, perceptions that were seen different in a different light. In other words, we are still making mistakes but most are conscious mistakes. When someone points out that we were wrong, we should, now that we are adults, study their evidence and if right, change and if wrong, defend our position. But that’s not how we react!
We expect to be humbled, punished, yelled at and made to feel stupid or inferior. Listen to this carefully- NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO YELL AT YOU OR BELITTLE YOU AT ANY TIME! NO ONE! No job is worth it. No relationship is worth it. No security is worth it. You are a human being with all the rights you demand. That’s right, not the rights you were given but the rights you demand.
If you make a mistake that tells me you are trying. If you make a mistake and you are open to a calm correction, that tells me you are growing. If you make a mistake and you are willing to change that tells me you are as strong as the oak tree that bends but never breaks. If you make a mistake and admit it that tells me you have courage. If you make a mistake and refuse to let anyone raise their voice to you or belittle you or bully you that tells me that you are an inspiration to everyone who knows you and if you are not there yet…it’s time for a change.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
January 28th, 2013
(Got Drama?)
Drama is the attention getter because drama gets rewarded. Tell someone that you are getting better in any area of your life and you get a nod and a quick smile but tell them things are getting worse and the addition of drama brings their concern and their attention. What’s your story? Is it about what you have overcome or is it about what crushed you? Is your life a drama and are you known for that? Do people expect that another thing has broken in your life? Drama is a story of poor little me. It doesn’t serve you. It depletes you. We all have good times and not so good times. What we dramatize grows.
Drama gets attention and makes us feel a certain kind of special. We have to ask ourselves what is the price we pay for drama? We know the reward. We know there will be attention, concern, our short comings will be disregarded, maybe even some help but what’s the price? Every bit of drama in our life is another hole in our boat, too many and we sink into a sea of negativity perhaps forever. The little rewards are not worth it! It’s like the little old ladies who sit playing the nickel slots and are always surprised to see their change cup empty. “But I was winning!” they say.
There’s no joy in drama. We say we want happiness but how can we be happy if our story is about who did us wrong and the things that have gone wrong for us. Happiness is about celebration not drama. Celebrate being alive and having a chance to be even better. Love and kindness and laughter have rewards too. They are not gossiped about and they certainly don’t get you much attention but choosing them is choosing the very best parts of life. Without drama you are just you. That really is enough. That really is the best. That really is perfect.
We all know how to lose weight. How about we all go on a drama reducing diet? Your clothes won’t fit any better but people will be looking more at your glow, your lightness and your smile. Got drama? Get rid of it.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
January 21st, 2013
(Been Rejected Yet?)
Has someone ever not liked you? Has a friend turned out to be not a friend? Were you picked last for something? Did someone ever turn you down, break up with you, lie about you, lie to you? Of course they did! It’s called rejection and it hurts. It hurts very badly. What can you do???
First, cry. That’s right. Whether you are man, women or child, crying is a release that is like no other. It is so necessary that I dare say that no healing can take place without it. Once you’ve cried and cried, it’s time to stop crying and open your eyes. It’s time to force yourself to get up, shower, dress your best and take a deep breath and say ” I am stronger than this” and mean it!
You will get through this. It’s not going to happen overnight. It will still hurt long after you don’t want it to hurt. It will leave a scar. That scar will be sensitive. That scar is a battle scar. That scar says you were hurt, the bleeding is over, you healed and you’ve got the proof.
No one goes to their grave without scars but if they do, they would be the ones who placated everyone. They would be the ones who never stood up for themselves. They would be the ones who got walked on, the doormats that justified their existence by saying they were keeping the peace. The ones who silenced their own voice.
That’s not who you are. You are the one that got slapped by life, spit out the blood, cried and grew stronger. You are the one that grew in compassion because you know how it feels. You are the one that said “Things are going to change and I can do it and if it happens again, I’ll get through that too” Well done.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
January 14th, 2013
Pom-Poms Anyone?
Each of us is greatly influenced by support. Positive reinforcement works very well for people and animals of all species. Every child shapes his or her future by what they are praised for and what they are chastised for day in and day out. Dogs become house trained not by their own initiative but by what they are rewarded for with praise or treats. Every path in life is easier with support and praise. But what if there is no support or praise on our chosen path? What then?
Each of us has two choices when support is absent. We can pick up the whip and drive ourselves mercilessly or we can pick up the pom-poms and be our own cheerleader. Both are called motivation but only one will bring peace and joy into our lives. The whip is the symbol of criticism and a Machiavellian focus on the destination. The pom-pom is a symbol of support and joy and a focus on the journey.
Years ago, up in Maine, I watched a tractor pulling contest. Team after team of oxen were yelled at by big burly drivers and with whips cracking over their heads, the oxen pulled those sleds. I, along with everyone else there, was astonished to see a slight woman come with her team and just by talking approvingly to her team, win the contest.
We are no different than those oxen. We will respond and pull our load through life no matter what but who drives us will determine whether this is a beautiful journey or a drudge. There are two drivers inside each of us. Which driver we choose will affect our life and influence the lives of our children and everyone we love. Choose wisely.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
January 7th, 2013
Stepping on Glass
Walking barefoot and stepping on a piece of glass is usually a painful experience. I say usually because there is one place where that isn’t true. Go down to where the ocean waves crash upon the sand and there you will find pieces of glass that were once sharp, worthless shards but are now smooth treasures from the sea that we covet. What happened?
Our problems, be they relationships, job, money, spiritual or health related are sharp objects that cut into our psyche every time they come to mind. Time and time again they cut into our happiness. They continuously bleed us of any optimism or solution. There seems to be no way to handle them without pain. What can we do?
Let go. Throw it into the sea. “But I don’t live near the ocean” you say. I’m not talking about the salt water ocean. I’m talking about about the sea of consciousness. I’m talking about what I call God. When the pain becomes unbearable, I always say “Dear God. You have got my attention with this pain. Please take it away. Tumble it with your love and return to me the lesson.” It comes back looking the same as the pain but now it has no rough or sharp edges. Now it no longer cuts. Now it is a treasure, an important addition to my life, part of my wealth.
How many times have you heard a person describe their worst crisis as a blessing? It’s because the sharp edges are gone and they now see the treasure. Nothing that comes into your life is a punishment. Everything is a blessing. When you see your life this way, your life becomes better than it has ever been.
May all the glass you step on be smooth.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
December 17th, 2012
(You are a Leader!)
What’s going on in the world? You probably know about the tension between Israel and Iran and you probably know about what’s going on in Afghanistan and sadly, you know what happened in Newton, Connecticut but what’s going on in your world? Yes, there are two worlds. There is a planet with seven billion people and oceans and mountains and cities almost too numerous to count and you live there. There is also another world and that is your personal world.
Your personal world is made up of all the people you come into contact with at anytime. Some stick around for a lifetime and some for only a moment or two. You influence them and they influence you in small or large ways. How’s your personal world looking? Are there tensions and wars? Is there a disparity of incomes? Are there great differences of opinion? Are there some age old grudges? Are there cries for help that go unanswered?
Your world and the big world have a lot in common. In fact, in some respects they are identical. We sit in our kitchens or desk chairs and voice or type our opinion on exactly how to fix the big world but we resign ourselves that some people in our personal world are toxic or liars or uncaring and so we focus on the illusion of fixing the big world.
The big world was never your job. All you have ever had to do is to take care of your personal world. All you have to do is make your own world more loving. All you have to do is to be a good example and foster great love and compassion for a very limited number of people. Turn off the news and pick up the phone. Forget about letters to the editor and send a letter to someone close that’s hurting. Forget about getting nations together at the peace table and instead get everyone you love to the dinner table. Forget about disarming the world and instead work on disarming your tongue. Forget about what the planet needs and find out what your neighbors and friends need.
You’ve been given the stewardship of a world, your personal world. Look at the people around you. How are you doing?
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com