September 30th, 2013
It doesn’t matter that you surrender, give up, let go, forgive, move on or put it behind you. It’s going to remain in your mind. It’s going to surface every now and then, usually when you are at your weakest or most vulnerable. It’s going to duplicate inside of you similar feelings to when it was actually happening. What can you do?
Three steps. First of all you have to firmly tell yourself INHN. Shout it to yourself if necessary. INHN (pronounced in hin) stands for It’s Not Happening Now. Secondly, look around. What IS actually going on now? Focus on now. Breathe. Inhale to a slow count of four. Hold it for a slow count of four. Exhale to a slow found of four. Hold it for a slow count of four. Repeat if necessary.
Don’t make the mistake of trying to figure out what caused you to remember. That’s a trap that keeps you connected and keeps it very alive. You may come up with a truth but not necessarily the truth. You don’t need to figure this stuff out for the millionth time. You need to put your thoughts elsewhere.
Thoughts that disturb you have energy and passion to them. In order to displace them you need to have thoughts that are equally or better yet, more energized and passion filled. These are not just going to occur to you. You will have some homework to do. Thirdly, when you are feeling good, write down three or four thoughts that really floats your boat. From real incidences or from your imagination (your mind can’t tell the difference) find those scenarios that make you feel really, really excited. Keep that list with you and refer to it as often as you need it. Pretty soon, every time your past pulls a knife, you’ll pull a gun. You win every time.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
September 23rd, 2013
Imagine for a moment that you are walking into Disney World and up ahead is the Magic Kingdom and new experiences and new people are all around you. Suddenly, you look over and see a candy wrapper lying on the ground. You look to your right and there is a bench with a broken armrest. You feel your agitation rising and finally you shout out “I’m outta here! This place is horrible and filthy and broken!”.
Pretty ridiculous scenario don’t you agree? BUT isn’t this very similar to what we do with many days of our life? Don’t we get up in a positive mood and see new experiences in our immediate future and don’t we proudly carry that buoyant feeling until….da da da dum, our pet starts fussing, our child spills the cereal, we forgot to do the laundry or pick up the dry cleaning, it starts raining, the check didn’t come, someone snaps at us?
Suddenly, the day is lousy. Maybe we go so far as to say that life is just one struggle after another, that nothing ever goes right, that we can’t catch a break, that we just want to give up.
Just because something is wrong does not mean that everything is wrong. Look around you. That’s your first blessing. You can look around. Now take a deep breath. Another blessing. Now say thank you and hear yourself saying it. Two more blessings. Now think about the people you love and the people that have loved you and the people that still do. Infinite blessings. Now think about the power that you have to change your attitude, how you are looking at things. Think about all that you do have, food, water, shelter and time to change for the better. Everything is never all wrong and if you look honestly you’ll see that almost everything is very, very right. That truth will set you free.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
April 8th, 2013
(You are strong!)
There comes times in life when giving up seems not only a great relief but the best possible choice. Suddenly, giving up on a dream or a relationship that you once held tightly seems the only way. For days and sometimes years later you continue to play “what if” games with yourself concerning your decision. Giving up always involves some level of regret, longing, in other words, attachment.
When you take a step to walk towards something you want, you don’t give up on where you are. You see what you want to be, do or have and you move towards it. Simple, right? Since you learned to take your first steps, you have enjoyed the ability to move towards what you want. Even if you fell down, you got back up and kept moving towards what you wanted.
From today onwards, there’s no more giving up. Banish that phrase from your vocabulary. There is only moving forward towards what you really want. If where you are in a job or a relationship or a state of health is unacceptable, start stepping towards your dream, your joy, what you really want. Don’t settle!
You don’t give up on the beach to go into the ocean for a swim. You just move towards what you want. You don’t give up on addiction. You move to healthier choices. You don’t give up on toxic people. You move towards better people. You don’t give up on a bad job. You move towards a good one. You don’t give up on improving you. You move towards being kind to you.
Giving up keeps you attached to the way it was. Moving forward makes you free. Take a step!
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
February 11th, 2013
(You are Wrong!)
The three words that fill us with terror, have us scrambling for excuses or blame and automatically triggers a very defensive position are “You are Wrong!”These words have made us cringe since we were children. Things are different now that we have grown but our response is the same. Time for a change.
When we were children, we inadvertently did some things wrong. It was part of the learning process. As we grew older, we touched the hot stove less and we found out that we shouldn’t put a red shirt in the wash with our white clothes. We made less mistakes by accident. Now our mistakes were calculations that went astray, perceptions that were seen different in a different light. In other words, we are still making mistakes but most are conscious mistakes. When someone points out that we were wrong, we should, now that we are adults, study their evidence and if right, change and if wrong, defend our position. But that’s not how we react!
We expect to be humbled, punished, yelled at and made to feel stupid or inferior. Listen to this carefully- NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO YELL AT YOU OR BELITTLE YOU AT ANY TIME! NO ONE! No job is worth it. No relationship is worth it. No security is worth it. You are a human being with all the rights you demand. That’s right, not the rights you were given but the rights you demand.
If you make a mistake that tells me you are trying. If you make a mistake and you are open to a calm correction, that tells me you are growing. If you make a mistake and you are willing to change that tells me you are as strong as the oak tree that bends but never breaks. If you make a mistake and admit it that tells me you have courage. If you make a mistake and refuse to let anyone raise their voice to you or belittle you or bully you that tells me that you are an inspiration to everyone who knows you and if you are not there yet…it’s time for a change.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
January 21st, 2013
(Been Rejected Yet?)
Has someone ever not liked you? Has a friend turned out to be not a friend? Were you picked last for something? Did someone ever turn you down, break up with you, lie about you, lie to you? Of course they did! It’s called rejection and it hurts. It hurts very badly. What can you do???
First, cry. That’s right. Whether you are man, women or child, crying is a release that is like no other. It is so necessary that I dare say that no healing can take place without it. Once you’ve cried and cried, it’s time to stop crying and open your eyes. It’s time to force yourself to get up, shower, dress your best and take a deep breath and say ” I am stronger than this” and mean it!
You will get through this. It’s not going to happen overnight. It will still hurt long after you don’t want it to hurt. It will leave a scar. That scar will be sensitive. That scar is a battle scar. That scar says you were hurt, the bleeding is over, you healed and you’ve got the proof.
No one goes to their grave without scars but if they do, they would be the ones who placated everyone. They would be the ones who never stood up for themselves. They would be the ones who got walked on, the doormats that justified their existence by saying they were keeping the peace. The ones who silenced their own voice.
That’s not who you are. You are the one that got slapped by life, spit out the blood, cried and grew stronger. You are the one that grew in compassion because you know how it feels. You are the one that said “Things are going to change and I can do it and if it happens again, I’ll get through that too” Well done.
(c)2013 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
December 10th, 2012
(You are in Charge!)
If you were sitting at your computer and screen after screen of violins popped up, you could deduce with nearly 100% accuracy that you were doing it. If you were sitting alone in your car and the radio stations started to change to different ones you had preset, it would be a pretty good bet that you had something to do with it.
When you feel angry, unloved, upset or put upon, guess what? You are doing it. It may be by default. It maybe because you’ve got a damn good reason for feeling like that but no matter how good the reason, it’s your hand on the buttons. People can’t push our buttons, contrary to popular belief. People act a certain way and WE push the response button that we believe is justified. Sometimes (most times) there is little or no thought given to our response. We’ve learned that a certain reaction serves us well and it goes on auto pilot.
There is a secret to changing all of this. There is a secret to getting control of your emotions. The secret to responding not in a way you always have, not in a way that puts the other person in their place but in a way that best serves you each and every time is… THE POWER OF PAUSE AND CHOOSE.
When we were kids we were told to count to ten before we emotionally exploded. That was some of the best advice ever! It was the perfect P&C formula and guess what? It worked. Somewhere along the line we decided that if we paused, the other person had a chance to jump in and take control of the conversation so we kept talking and reacting. We became mere robots with pre programmed responses.
Do want to live your life as a free person? Do you want to be in charge of how you feel under any and all circumstances? Then start practicing P&C today. Pause and let your heart catch up with your mind and Choose the response that best serves you. Pause and give infinite intelligence a chance to speak through you. Choose your words and actions not out of anger or hurt but out of love and respect for yourself. It’s a whole new feeling and a very, very good one.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
December 3rd, 2012
(You are Resilient!)
Do you want a perfect world? Do you want a world free of suffering and strife? Do you want a world where everyone in every country holds hands and sings a really cool song? Sorry, wrong planet.
Let’s get real for a moment. Our world is filled with every imaginable and unimaginable person, place and thing. It is the greatest amusement park, museum, movie, sitcom, documentary, boxing ring and concert. It has cancer and it has warm, fresh bedsheets. It has great love and great loss. It has a plethora of both laughter and tears. It has it all, the good, the bad and certainly the ugly. So where, if anywhere, is perfection?
Perfection lies not in this world but in your judgement of this world of ours. EVERYTHING on this planet has its place and its reason for existence. Is it perfect? Yes it is, in a way. It’s perfect if you love kaleidoscopes, and changing seasons and sunrises and sunsets. It’s perfect if you can love change. You don’t have to love polliwogs and warthogs. You just have to love change.
There is a part of the day that you love but you would soon tire of it if there was no other time of the day. It changes and that’s perfect. There are puppies that are not house trained. It changes and that’s perfect. There are things you don’t understand and then you get older and you understand. It changes and that’s perfect. You criticize yourself and the world and then comes the day when you accept both just the way they are. It changes and that’s perfect.
Like the weather, if you don’t like the way the world is, stick around and it will change whether you want it to or not. Life is not about stagnation. Endless bliss or perfection would be stagnation. Life is about being alive and surprised and challenged. Life is about experiencing and growing. Life is a series of wonderful, horrible, marvelous changes. Embrace that and life is an amazing adventure.
When you were born, a voice whispered in your ear. “Welcome to this planet. Your changes will arrive shortly. Enjoy your stay.” Perfect!
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
November 26th, 2012
(You are Rich!)
Are you walking past diamonds to get to the gold? We all have the same desires. We want to be moving towards happiness and we want to be moving far away from suffering of any kind. This is what we have in common. What we don’t have in common is how we see our present circumstances. It’s time to take inventory.
When you take inventory it is very important to focus on what you have and not what you have as compared to what other people have. First, you have to take a physical inventory. What’s working? Do not ask what isn’t working or what isn’t working as good as it used to because that will involve drama and drama always skews the results. Second, you have to take a love inventory. Who loves you and who has loved you in the past? Third, you have to take a worth inventory. What is your self worth? This is never to be confused with your net worth or again the results will be terribly skewed. Fourth, you have to take a service inventory. How have you been serving this world? Who have you helped?
Once you’ve taken a complete inventory, how does it look? Are there parts of your body working fairly well? Have you been loved by a relative, friend or teacher? Are you capable of improving yourself? Are there people who have been helped by your words, action or example? If you can answer yes to any of these questions then these are the diamonds in your life, the priceless kind. Are you looking for more of these or are you ignoring them while looking for stability, security and permanence. Those are merely the gold, important but nowhere near the worth of diamonds.
Know how wealthy you are in what really matters. Life, Love, possibilities and opportunity are the diamonds in your life. You are rich. Walk with your head high and your heart filled with gratitude and every time something brings you down, take out those diamonds and look at them. Like you, they are priceless.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 23rd, 2012
We all try to get to a place of happiness, a state of well being, a peaceful countenance. We all go about it in different ways but the destination is the same. There is not just one way but there are some that are more powerful and direct than others. One of the most overlooked is actually one of the most effective.
When we think about being “fed up” with some aspect of our life we automatically think of it as a negative state but nothing could be further from the truth. Being fed up is the edge of the diving board, the top of the ski run, the door to the sky dive. It’s the place where the next step is change, no two ways about it.
It’s when we are fed up with coughing that we give up smoking, fed up with certain behaviors that jettisons the alcohol or drugs, fed up with the way we look that buys the exercise equipment or the new clothes, fed up with how we are being treated that gives us the guts to make an overdue change, fed up with poverty that gives birth to ideas and action.
I wish that you become fed up with not pursuing your dream. I wish that you become fed up with limiting yourself, fed up with criticizing yourself, fed up with not supporting yourself, fed up with feeling weak, fed up with worrying, fed up with being lonely or worn out or stressed.
Here’s to being fed up and doing something about it. Today. Cheers!
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
June 18th, 2012
I’m back! First and most importantly, I want to thank you for your powerful prayers and wishes. I couldn’t have come this far without you. Four heart surgeries have taken a toll but I am healing and improving every single day. Thank you.
We have all read and practiced the powerful notion of being in the present moment, the Now of Eckhart Tolle and others. It is true that being totally present when communicating with another adult or child is the epitome of respect and love and caring. It is true that being in the present moment brings us an awareness and clarity about everything around us. It is true that all we are ever living is the eternal now but what do you do when the present, the now sucks?
When there is great pain or great loss, the present moment can seem dark and bleak. I, for one, do not believe that a person is helped in any way by staying or contemplating that darkness. For Heaven’s sake, why would you want to stay in a place that made you feel horrible? We have been suckered into believing that we have to get up and dance with every dark mood, shadow or pain that walks into our life. Rubbish!
God has given each and every one of us gifts beyond counting. One of the greatest is our imagination. We use our imagination to plan a vacation to take a break from the toil of work. We use our imagination to plan a wonderful weekend. Why then can we not use our imagination to plan for a better time than the present if the present is unbearable?
It is in using our imagination and planning that we create everything in our life. Why not imagine and plan for a brighter future when all is dark and painful now? See a brighter tomorrow. Feel Grace overflowing in your life. Imagine everything getting better and hold on to that.
Events can throw us into a dark dungeon at any time and we have two choices. We can close the cell door and wail about our plight or we can open the door and start moving towards something better. Your life. Your choice. Free will. Imagine that!
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com