November 19th, 2012
(You are Healing!)
OMG! You made a mistake! You said, did, wrote, acted out, unloaded, lost it, overreacted or just plain chose poorly and now you feel bad. It may have happened a minute ago or decades ago but you are still suffering. Nothing can make you feel as worthless or as crummy as when this mistake comes to mind and what’s worse, there’s a few of them!
Give Yourself A Break. Yeah, you. You have forgiven others over and over again but for some reason, it seems impossible to forgive yourself. Every time you refuse (that’s right, it’s not that you can’t forgive yourself. It’s that you refuse to do it!) to forgive yourself you add another link to the chain that you carry. Pretty soon any forward progress is impossible in your life because of the weight of all the links in your chain. Oh, you’ll say that luck isn’t with you or the right opportunities haven’t come your way but you know it’s the chain.
Today, right now, you can make that chain disappear. You can start by Giving Yourself A Break. You can decide right now to be kind to yourself. You can get rid of the strict teacher, father, mother, priest, minister voice and allow the the healing, loving, compassionate, caring, loving voice to be the dominant voice by simply listening to one voice to the complete exclusion of the other. (You’ve got some experience at that already)
Whatever mistake you made, it is in the past. You may still be paying for it in some way or another but you don’t have to hate yourself for it. It happened, you take full responsibility and you allow it to be an experience and not a whip. Close your eyes and mentally hug yourself. Soothe yourself. Tell yourself that as of today, the chains are off. Tell yourself that you can’t change even the smallest thing in the past but starting today, you are going to live the most loving, compassionate life you can lead and every time that you feel like beating yourself up, you’re going to mentally hug yourself and know that you deserve that break. Repeat and repeat and be free.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
November 5th, 2012
(You are Grrrreat!)
Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
The answer to that question is the answer to most questions in your life. Are you looking for purpose? Well, what is the person in the mirror capable of if given a chance? Are you looking for a relationship? Well, what does the person in the mirror bring to the table? Are you looking for more money? Well, does the person in the mirror deserve more money?
Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Do you see someone who needs more muscle or less weight? Do you see someone with glaring faults? Do you see someone who doesn’t quite match up to the ideal you have in your mind? Do you see someone who is too old or not old enough? Do you see someone who doesn’t fit in and has been hurt?
You’ve been looking in that mirror all of your life. You’ve seen you laugh and you’ve seen you cry. You’ve seen you sleepy and you’ve seen you wired. You’ve seen you sick and you’ve seen you not giving a damn. BUT what does the person in the mirror really want?
The person in the mirror doesn’t need your judgement, just your acceptance. The person in the mirror doesn’t need your snarl, just your smile. The person in the mirror wants you to be the cheerleader. The person in the mirror gets enough grief from the world, yours is unnecessary and unwanted. The person in the mirror wants to be loved more than anything in the world and the person in the mirror wants your love more than anything in the world.
The person in the mirror can and will accomplish anything with your support. The person in the mirror just needs you to believe that it is possible. The person in the mirror needs you, your attention, your kindness, your compassion, your love. How you see the person in the mirror defines your life, your world. Do you want a better, happier life? Give the person in the mirror forgiveness and love and a moment or two of calm reflection.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
October 22nd, 2012
(You are Stronger!)
What do other people think of you? Does it matter? We like to imagine that other people’s opinions don’t matter but the reality is that they do. People can cheer us up with a smile or a wink or hurt us terribly with words that strike us like the crack of a whip. Sometimes the influence is subtle. For instance, you’re feeling absolutely fine and somebody comes up to you with a very concerned look on their face and they say gravely, “Are you okay?” and instantly you begin to wonder where before there was no doubt at all.
The fact is that we have gotten our cues on how to live from the actions or the words from those around us since the day we were born. So, the question isn’t really whether we are affected by others but more importantly, how do we minimize getting hurt by others.
My grandmother, God rest her soul, was unschooled but one of the wisest women I ever met. Her answer to this age old question was the best I ever heard and it shapes my life to this day. She said, “When faced with hurtful words being thrown at you, always consider the source. Is that person worthy of your admiration? If they are, there might be some truth in what they are saying. If they are not worthy of your admiration, then it’s about them not you.”
Look around, we all have toxic people somewhere in our lives. Some are coworkers or family or neighbors or “friends” or friends of friends. Do you admire them? Of course not. Then why do they matter? Because you make it about you and not about them. Listen to my Grandmother, “It’s not about you. It’s about them!!” Observe them, pity them, stonewall them, ignore them but for Heaven’s sake, don’t believe them. You’re better than that and you know it!
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
October 15th, 2012
(You are Capable!)
We falsely believe that there are insurmountable obstacles between us and our dreams and yet, you know that in your life you have overcome obstacles that would make a Navy Seal shudder. You’ve gone through the ringer, beaten back the odds, overcome your own mistakes and those of others and you are still here. You couldn’t possibly believe that there is an obstacle that can stop you.
When you set your mind to do something, it is rare that any real obstacle stands in your way. Take for instance the high diving board. The high diving board isn’t an obstacle, it is just a high diving board. People aren’t dying left and right every time they jump or dive and yet something holds us back from trying. It’s not an obstacle, it’s fear.
Fear is not an obstacle! Fear is an imaginary picture of you being laughed at, of you disappointing someone, of you not accomplishing what you swore you could or would do. How could an imaginary picture ever be an obstacle? How could an imaginary picture of a composite of other times you “failed” or were laughed at be an obstacle? How? Because you look at it and say “That could happen and I’d feel bad and I don’t want to feel bad so I won’t do it.”.
Listen, if you don’t “fail”, if you don’t make many mistakes, if you don’t cry into your pillow, if you don’t get laughed at, if you don’t get red-faced and embarrassed, if you don’t stutter and say the wrong thing or no thing, if you don’t want to run and hide… YOU HAVEN’T REALLY LIVED! To live is to hurt sometimes. The payoff is that if you are willing to put up with a little discomfort from time to time, you can get the body you want, the bank account you want, the education you want and most importantly the courage you want.
Stop looking at the imaginary pictures and start doing what you do best, overcoming obstacles and really living.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
September 24th, 2012
(You are Wonderful!)
How do you make the right decision? You have gone back and forth, first thinking one way and then the other a hundred times. You’ve lit candles, flipped coins and tossed crumpled up paper into the wastepaper basket from a fair distance figuring if it goes in you’ve made the right choice. You really want to choose BUT what if you choose wrong? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
First of all, let’s get this straight. There is no award for making it all the way through life always guessing right. In fact I think there’s a penalty for that. Secondly, what looks at first glance to be the wrong choice can turn out to be the best choice you ever made. Thirdly, no matter how hard you pray, God will not make the choice for you but will absolutely, positively help you with whatever choice you do make. Fourthly, the only thing that is stopping you from making a choice is fear. Not fear of a bad outcome but fear of blame. Fifthly, sixthly and beyond; right, wrong or indifferent, you grow from each decision that you make. There is nothing else that grows you faster.
So, when a decision is looming, do the right thing, make a decision. Any decision is better than none. Not making a decision is an affirmation that you are weak. The longer you delay, the more you reinforce this weakness. Put it off long enough and you will paralyze yourself into not making any decision about anything.
So, how do you make the right decision? You set a deadline and you make a vow to yourself to make a decision before that time. When that time approaches, you go for it. That act signals to yourself and to the Universe that you are not someone to be trifled with. You are a person who makes decisions. And what happens if it’s the wrong decision? You take full responsibility and you grow some more.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
September 17th, 2012
(You are Excellent!)
Are you living in the right place? Does where you live make you happy? I’m not talking about zip codes or states or provinces. I am talking about where do your thoughts live when you are not concentrating on something important. Are you living in the past? The future? What is it like there?
Is it a past filled with wonderful memories and remembrances of love and joy and carefree days? Is it a future filled with promise and health? Or maybe it’s a past filled with regrets and self recriminations. Or maybe it’s a future filled with scarcity and darkness.
Only a few of us can afford to physically live in the richest part of town but EVERY ONE OF US has the free will to live in a better mental place. Your thought are yours for the making and no one can limit them or destroy them or take them away from you. And since our every thought determines our happiness, we can literally move into joy no matter where we are or under what conditions we find ourselves.
How would today feel if you focused exclusively on whatever joys there were in your past? How good would you feel today if you painted a mental picture of the perfect future for you and kept adding details? How would you feel today if you mentally moved to a place of optimism and joy and lived there for the whole day?
The same way we take a break and go on vacation, take a break from worry and move to a mental place of upliftment and enjoy today. What you were worrying about today will still be there for you to worry about tomorrow if you decide to go back to it. Maybe, just maybe, you might decide to stay in that happy place and who knows, maybe, just maybe, things will start to change. Let’s face it, your worrying hasn’t exactly created miracles. How about living somewhere else today?
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
August 6th, 2012
(Today’s outlook ; Mostly happy with a slight chance of upsets.)
Who is watching you? Not in the creepy, peering through the blinds kind of watching but who in your life cares about you? Who looks to you to determine whether the world is a happy, mad or sad place today? Who is watching you to see how you deal with your problems? Who is watching you because they worry about you?
Nothing in our life stands alone. Everything we do, say and think has an effect on us and we in turn affect everyone we come into contact with even if it is but for a moment. Parents know that their own mood has an instant and formidable effect on their children. When they are feeling discombobulated and stressed, it’s a pretty good bet that the children will be bouncing off the walls simultaneously.
So, at this point you’ve got to ask yourself, am I influencing my world or is my world influencing me? The answer to that question is another question; Are you a leader or a victim? You see if you are a leader than you are the one that decides, come hell or high water, I’m going to be happy, caring and successful. If, on the other hand, you see yourself as a victim, then you are the one that says I am but a leaf in the wind and I hope I don’t get blown into the gutter.
When the people who love you, care about you and look up to you watch you, they want to see a leader. They want to see a role model, they want to see you turn your day around, overcome upsets and be happy in spite of what you face. If you really want to make a difference, you have an obligation to be strong and caring and happy. You can’t change the whole world but you sure can bring sunshine into your part of it.
So, what’s it going to be? You, standing on the top of the mountain telling everyone to come on up or you blowing down the gutter? Everyone you know is watching and waiting for your decision.
(c)2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
July 16th, 2012
We label our days as good days or bad days by the way we feel that day. If we feel good, it’s a good day. If we feel bad, it’s a bad day. The key then is to feel good more often thereby having a larger percentage of good days. Seems simple, right? Maybe.
The biggest hindrance to bettering our percentages is the fact that other people exist on the planet too. Oh, if there was no one else around, we could still call it a good day or a bad day based on other things like the weather or the availability of our favorite food but by and large, it is other people that we believe make it a good or bad day for us.
The fact is that there are other people on the planet, a lot of them. Each one, just like you and I, has their own way of thinking and acting and to expect all of them to be in total harmony with the way you think and act is actually quite laughable.
So, if your daily happiness is based on how you choose to see the world, you are in luck. If your daily happiness is based on being in perfect harmony with others, you’re screwed. Your only shot at having a good day is generating and embracing your own happiness. Other than that, it is just like buying a lottery ticket each morning and hoping to win the happiness lottery that day.
You wouldn’t expect everyone to be hungry when you are hungry so why should you expect everyone else to be happy at the same time as you. When you are hungry, go eat. When you want to be happy, think about your blessings and get happy.
A good day is yours and yours alone to make.
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
June 25th, 2012
What is love? Writers have written and painters have painted and musicians have sung since time immemorial their answer to this question. Which one got it right? Which one came up with the truth about love? They all did, each and every one of them.
When we ask what is love and who got it right, it’s like asking which drop of ocean water is just like the ocean? They all are is the answer. If we could ask every mammal, fish, crustacean and plant in the ocean to describe that thing that surrounds them, that thing that gives them life, that thing that makes their life possible, we would get an infinite number of answers and they would all be right.
We, you and I and all the others, live in a world of love. We are surrounded by love, we breathe love, we eat love, we hear love and we see love. For it is the love of nectar that the honeybee pollinates the flower that becomes our food. It is because of the love of the farmer for her family that she plants our food so that her children will eat and have the money for clothes and education. It is the love of literature that drives the man to become the teacher and share his joy. It is the child’s love of a puppy that takes the animal home from the shelter and brings more love to the family.
There is the love of sweethearts, the love of children, the love of parents, the love of art and music and colors and laughter and rainbows and beaches and mountains and yes, the love of God. We are indeed surrounded by love and yet we feel at times that we have lost it. Nothing could be further from the truth.
How silly would it seem to us if we were to watch a fish in the ocean swimming around trying to find this thing called water. What would you say to it? The same thing God would probably say to you. “Relax, love is all around you. Do not spend your time looking for it but rather spend your time being grateful for being in it. For if you were not in it for even a moment, you would perish. If you exist at all it is because of the love that surrounds you. Enjoy.”
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
May 28th, 2012
Today here in the states we focus on those members of the armed forces who died while in service to the country. There is little we can do for the fallen. There is some comfort we can give to those left behind and we should but on this memorial day let us grieve also for those who have been wounded. Let us consider the hospital beds and the wheelchairs thousands of which are filled at this moment. Let us consider the suffering of those who sit vigil at the bedside of wounded warriors. Let us consider those who look into the other room of their house and see not the person who went off to war but the broken body that remains. Let us consider those with fine young bodies but tormented minds and broken spirits. Let us consider those who love them.
Yes, it’s a day to fly a flag for those who sacrificed their lives but please don’t ever forget that you don’t have to go to a national cemetery to honor sacrifice. On your street or around the block or on the other side of town is a house filled with suffering. There sits or lies or paces a wounded veteran. He or she could use a kind word or a nice lunch. The caretakers could use a movie ticket and a hour or two off. Maybe just sharing a cup of tea or coffee once a week and just listening. Anything and everything you could possibly do would be helpful.
When I was discharged from the Marines many years ago I thought of all the adventures I would have in my future and now when I walk the halls of the veterans hospital I see all the adventures that never will be. Some men and women left their lives on foreign soil and thousands upon thousands of others left so much more. Send a prayer to heaven today for those who passed and tomorrow reach out and pray for those who still suffer. The best way to honor the dead is to take care of their comrades.
(C) 2012 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com