July 13th, 2015
What follows you around like a giant mosquito, always buzzing so you know it’s around and when you think it’s gone the familiar sting tells you it’s not? It’s guilt.
Some people feel guilty about everything regardless of whether or not they are at fault. “I’m sorry the ocean is so salty and it ruined our vacation” “I’m sorry that I didn’t know what you were thinking” .
Some people hide their guilt and walk around with a perpetual hundred pound weight on their chest. It doesn’t matter whether or not they were actually at fault. The only thing that matters in both cases is the perception that somehow it was their fault.
Guilt is a powerful feeling that can help us to change for the better or paralyze us into inaction. How can we see it in a positive light when we believe, right or not, that we did something wrong? Forgetting is an impossibility.
We hear about forgiving yourself but in order to forgive you have to take a higher position and pass an order of forgiveness to yourself. How can you take a higher position, in other words act as a judge, when guilt has laid you so low?
Guilt will weaken you and it can only be tamed one way. You have to become stronger than the guilt. If the guilt is pervasive “I’m sorry for everything!” you must rein it in and see it in the light. Is it really, really, really your fault? If so, take responsibility and apologize ONCE. If it is not your fault, stand your ground FOREVER.
We all make mistakes or we haven’t really lived. We cannot change one iota of the past. If you have done wrong, rectifying it is sometimes possible. Learning from it is always possible. Learn and move on. Get strong, not arrogant. Be the door that only allows love to enter and not the doormat. Be strong, wonderful you.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
June 29th, 2015
We want to change some things in our life but we are fearful that if we start changing anything everything will change so we become paralyzed by these two opposing forces.
To overcome this stagnation we have to first understand what we are trying to hold on to so tightly. Do you think a relationship is going to change if you change? Of course it will. If the relationship is based on superficial values it may or may not survive. If it is based on a deep love and caring by both it will survive any change.
Do you think you may regret making any change? Of course you will. You will always reflect on how things use to be and depending upon your mood, you will see it as a positive change or a negative one. Notice that it is “depending upon your mood” and not depending upon the facts.
Do you think you are too old or set in your ways to change? The older we get the more invested in our personal story we are. We imagine a certain strength of character in our consistency. We don’t ever want to appear foolish. Funny though, how much we admire other people when they dare to be a little foolish.
How about we take some chances? How about we dip our toe into the sea of change? How about we volunteer in a new area? How about we have a different conversation? How about we put our judgements and complaining on hold for awhile? How about we wear something that is a little edgy? How about we start being a better version of who we wanted to be.
The rest of your life starts right now. Take a deep breath and begin right now to do whatever you can to make it better. It’s called making a change and you are so ready.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
May 11th, 2015
Where does the sun go on a cloudy day? It goes exactly where it always goes. It doesn’t suddenly stop shining because there is no one at the beach or because the clouds block the clarity of its view. It doesn’t lessen who it is because this day is different.
Who you are should be a constant too. It’s easy to shine from your warm, caring, loving heart especially when there are grateful recipients of your kindness.
But what happens to your love when the clouds roll in? What happens to your understanding when someone betrays you? What happens to your compassion when someone you love cuts you off without an explanation? What happens when sickness, debt and fear come round like dark storm clouds?
Most likely you change. You stop seeing the possibilities. You stop seeing objectively. You pull back. Let’s face it, you stop shining. You feel justified in not shining after all, look at all the stuff going on. No one in their right mind could feel better than you right now or could they?
YES!!!!! You can love even when hurt. You can look for better possibilities. You can feel centered and powerful. You can expect a fortuitous outcome. You can see everything in a better light. In other words, you can shine no matter what is happening.
It is not the common response. It is not the accepted response. It is not the response that engenders sympathy BUT you can feel better, even a little better than you do in each and every moment of your life no matter the circumstances.
Remember, your hand is always the only hand on the volume controls of your well being. Turn it up even just a little and you will feel the empowerment. Ignore the clouds and shine anyway.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
April 13th, 2015
Can you feel good when you are feeling bad? It is vitally important to your growth to feel bad when you are feeling bad. To try to sugar coat loss or betrayal or hurt is counter productive to growth and learning.To stand in quicksand and visualize that you are standing on a sandy beach in the Caribbean is foolish at best.
When something hurts, acknowledge that hurt. Take some time to ascertain if there is anything you could have done to avoid the hurt. Take some time to ascertain what is to be learned from this hurt. Take some time to ascertain when and where your healing should commence and then act upon those answers.
Every physical hurt from a paper cut to major surgery will, if you stay alive, heal. Every mental and emotional hurt will, if you stay alive, heal. The key words here are “if you stay alive”.
Staying alive is not just having a pulse. There are plenty of people walking around with a pulse but are not really living. Staying alive means that you feel everything but you are selective in what feelings you hold on to for a long time. Feelings of hurt have lessons that last forever but all hurt has an expiration date. To hold onto a hurt past its expiration spoils staying alive.
Feel the hurt, feel the pain, feel your world upended. Feel it fully and completely. Accept the gift of growth. Make the necessary changes and move on. Having been hurt says I have lived. Letting go says I am stronger than any hold that any hurt has on me.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
March 23rd, 2015
How do you fill yourself? I don’t mean filling an empty belly or filling your mouth with whipped cream from a pressurized container. I mean How Do You Fill Yourself Up When You Feel Empty??
Your heart beats to a rhythm. Your inhalation and exhalation is a rhythm. One of the best ways to fill yourself up is to embrace music. There are an infinite number of sounds. Find one (or more!) that takes you to a higher level and feast on it.
Everything from a blade of grass to the paper cut on your finger healing is a miracle. Look up and down and around and appreciate all that you see. Fill yourself with the awe of the energy inherent in all of it.
One of the emptiest feelings is not feeling loved. You can’t make anyone love you but you can love anybody. Once you start loving the flow starts and the love you give becomes the love you feel.
When we pray we connect with the source of all things. What better place than the source for refilling? The quickest refill is when we pray with a giant Thank You instead of a laundry list of our problems.
A world of beauty, kindness and love is all around you. Search for it. Drink it in. Feast on it. Fill yourself at every opportunity. Look for the good. It’s very filling.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
February 9th, 2015
After the first few minutes, the problem is no longer the problem. The problem is just a fact like any other fact. Once you have stated and understood the problem, the only logical and beneficial step to take is to spend 100% of your time and energy on searching for a solution. Any time spent with the problem after understanding the problem is a failure on your commitment to find a solution.
Let’s say you walk out the door of your house and after a couple of steps you realize you have a problem. It is raining and you have no umbrella or rain gear. Problem stated and understood. At this point, standing out in the rain trying to ascertain why it is raining, why it is raining on you, why you didn’t know it was raining beforehand is a problem with very wet consequences. None of this thinking, analyzing and contemplation will keep you dry. Action is the solution. Focusing 100% on not getting wetter propels you back into the house quickly and outfits you with the proper attire to venture forth again. Solution.
Take each problem that you have from the minuscule to the gigantic and write it down. Understand it. Give it a number. Throw it away. Take another piece of paper, put only the number of your problem at the top and start contemplating solutions and write each one down.
A piece of paper filled with possible solutions is so much more productive than a mind filled with problems.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
January 26th, 2015
What are you hot for? We’re not talking hot flashes or ambient temperature here. We are talking about what you feel inside. We are talking about, in other words, what are you passionate about?
We all have daily rituals and to do lists. We constantly deal with the mundane and predictable. The question is, what do we think about while doing them? It is what we think about during these tasks that is going to determine our energy level, our happiness quotient, our positivity.
If you are doing a mundane, has to be done, task and thinking about how boring and meaningless it is in the long run and how your life is ebbing away while everyone else is partying like it’s New Year’s Eve every day, you are not going to feel creative or loving or energized. Your immune system and your relationship with everyone including yourself will suffer.
Kick worry and boredom to the curb. Instead, think about puppies and kittens and babies or maybe Gatsby style yachts and global jetsetting or maybe your quilting or golfing or gardening or gospel or music or yoga.
Find what floats your boat, what puts a sparkle in your eye, what you are hot for and hold on to that like an overboard sailor on a life preserver.
This is a world that provides you with an infinite number of things to think about each day and your thoughts can reward you or punish you so choose wisely. Your life is and always will be greatly influenced by the thoughts you repeatedly think. Think about that.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
January 19th, 2015
Let me introduce you to a special something called courage. It is the most amazing something in the world. It is always with you but never appears unless you believe you have it. It is your belief and only your belief that commands its appearance. Its appearance makes it possible to overcome any obstacle, to change that which looked unchangeable, to face any fear and not back down.
Courage lives in the heart of every being. It is the greatest of gifts and is essential to growth. It is what takes change from being a mental concept to being a new reality. It is a force of immense power and unlimited capabilities.
“So, we just believe, access this power and create anything?” Not exactly. As with most things in life, you have to deal with the troll under the bridge in order to cross the bridge. You don’t see the troll, you don’t even sense there is a troll until you have made up your mind and started across the bridge feeling that nothing can stop you. You are in the flow, focused, prepared and going for it.
A couple of confident steps on the bridge and suddenly, the most fearsome troll in the world appears. Fear and anxiety quickly take the place of confidence and sureness. You want to run away and forget all about any idea of crossing that bridge.
At this point many run away but some, believing they have something called courage, keep inching forward. Believing in courage, courage appears and a special strength takes over. Closer and closer the person with courage steps toward the troll until they can see the name on his chest. His name is DOUBT and none may pass without courage.
The troll, sensing that this one has courage, steps aside and the journey for a rare few continues toward dreams and plans and goals.
It takes courage to go after your dreams and not get stopped by doubt but if you will believe in yourself, if you will know that your courage will always be there when you need it, if you will just keep inching forward, your life will change for the better this day.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
January 12th, 2015
My dear Aunt Mary died last night, God rest her soul. She was always there for me throughout my younger, wilder days and she was always an amazing example of positivity.
After the death of her husband and her youngest son money was tight and rather than bemoaning that fact she, as always, did something about it. She wrote on the inside of her checkbook holder the words “Is it necessary?” Every time she prepared to spend money she confronted herself with this question and answered it honestly. Sometimes it meant putting back half of what she she was going to buy and sometimes it just meant walking away.
Many times in my life her three words tapped me on the shoulder and not just about money. Was it necessary to stay mad? Was it necessary to avoid something difficult? Was it necessary to make a change? Was it necessary to grow up? Was it necessary to follow my heart?
What is necessary in your life? What are the necessary elements that you need to spend more time on instead of what you are spending time on now? How much of what you have is necessary?
I’m not saying that you should live like a monk, far from it, but every now and then take inventory of all the different aspects of your life and ask yourself what is necessary. You might be surprised at the answers.
Right now I’m sure that dear, sweet, loving woman is dancing with her husband, her youngest son, her sister and her parents and finding out that all that is necessary now is to love and to enjoy.
Maybe, just maybe, that’s all that is ever necessary. Thanks Aunt Mary!
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life
January 5th, 2015
How do you make a decision when you can’t seem to make a decision? Few things in life are as exasperating as coming to a fork in the river and both paths have seemingly equal merit. The river is flowing fast and the choice will soon have to be made! Which one do you take? Which one is a mistake?
You can pray and meditate and contemplate but you will still hear conflicting voices in your head. You can read and research and ask advice but you will only accumulate more evidence for each choice.
We have been conditioned all of our lives to not make mistakes. Mistakes are bad. Mistakes are the difference between success and failure. Mistakes are filled with regrets and the gnashing of teeth. Mistakes diminish who we are. Woe to the person who makes too many mistakes!
Poppycock!! Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are the greatest teachers. Most, if not all, mistakes are realized as blessings as time goes on. The only people who don’t make mistakes are the dead. Living is filled with twists and turns and clouded visions that we interpret as best as we can. Hindsight is the only real clarity and it’s useless.
Faced with a decision, follow your gut and your heart and without hesitation, go for it! Make a decision.There is no adventure, no growth, no story to tell without mistakes. Will you ever be wrong? Of course you will! You are a learning, experiencing, human being.
Some decisions will feel good right away and others will have to go through the process of first being labeled a mistake until time and wisdom rewrites it as a blessing.
So go ahead and choose. You can’t lose.
(c)2015 All Rights Reserved, Patrick McBride
www.PatrickInspires.com
Facebook – Sundrops On Life